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An_187286 posted:
I am 43 years old and just had my second miscarriage (on January 7th 2011) in seven years my husband was no wear to be found during this difficult and emotional time and I was wondering what am I to do. I am so angry with him at this point and he does not seem to understand he chose to stay at work during this time and I had to call a friend to take me to the hospital and he will not discuss with me how he feels and does not feel that he did anything wrong by not being there what's a woman to do please some advice I am still an emotional reck and he has gone about his normal routine.
Brubee responded:
Hi hon! sorry this board can be kinda slow. Im Brit and I had a miscarage in febuary 2010 at 9 weeks. I understand that you are upset with him I would be too. It was totally NOT cool that he wouldnt come take you to the hospital. In my opinion the only thing you can do is talk to him about how his non attentiveness has hurt you. Has he done things like this before? Im kinda guessing so. Now being the devils advocate... Is he having a hard time at his job? Maybe he faces termination and couldnt leave work? Also most of the time men bond with the pregnancy later or perhaps not until the birth of the baby. He also may not understand the hormonal and physical effects this miscarrage is having on you. All that being said I beleive that you have a right to be upset, now when you talk to him try to stay calm and not point fingers (even if he totally deserves it) or he may get very defensive. Try to take it easy, it will take a while for your body and mind to get back in the swing of things. God bless you and your husband through this difficult time. ~B~
Me~27 DH~30 DD~21mos ~!~2/2/2010 11weeks
teacherbeck responded:
Great advice from Brubee! I second everything she said... men handle things differently, but you have every right to be upset, but approach it gently if you can and try to stay calm if at all possible. I hope he is sweet and caring to you, you really need to be able to lean on him during this time ((((hugs)))
Amelia_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Anon,

Just wanted to give you a ((((hug)))) and check on you. I hope that your husband has come around in the emotional department a little better this week. Please let us know how you are doing and if you need to vent, we are here for you!
Take care of yourself.
Best Wishes! Amelia

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