Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

I am soooooo sorry for you to loose three angels. My heart really goes out to you. I too lost my son Raymond Lee at 23 weeks due to PROM. I am almost four weeks into my lost and I still have good days and BAD DAYS. I do understand your feeling that your husband is doing better than you. I sometimes feel that way to but everyone mourns different. But we were the ones to carry our angels for 23 weeks. I am in counseling know and it takes time for things of this nature to heal. We had so many dreams for our angels and then they are suddenly gone. But our babies still live even though they are not here with us physically. Grief takes time and LOTS of prayer. I do not know how long you should wait to conceive. My doctor said wait 3-6 months. But I haven't got that far yet in saying I am ready to try again. I pray that you find understanding in all of this. Much peace and love

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you too find peace with your loss.

Hello
I understand exactly what your going through! its like I typed it! We lost our twin boys 3 wks ago....Feb 21st. ours just came too soon at 23 wks. & both passed. It was the nightmare I never wanted to have. My poor husband was crushed as I was too. I vag gave birth to both of them & barely saw them before they were being working on. I know the feeling of empty-ness, loss, sorrow.
We are getting counseling this wk our 1st app. I too hope it helps for us. but I understand what your saying about your husband, mine seemed to get over it already, I cry alot over them, returning things we bought....feeling like once my husband went back to work & I'm home alone, feeling like I'd have 2 lil boys to take care of. Feeling sad over what happened, like it never happend, I was big too! Now I'm skinny again, flat belly & you can't tell I was pregnant with twins, unless your our fam & they couldn't believe how big I was.

My doc said wait 6 months, so we will try again. As long as husband still wants to. He feels like it was a cruel joke. Why would God bless us with 2 babies (concieved 100% naturallly, no drugs) to take them away from us? I gave birth to them on a mon & by fri we burried them. It just seems too hard to believe, everything happened so fast. I trust in God that he needed them, there's a reason why they are not here with us. Something wasn't right. Just hard to understand.

I'll be 33 this Aug so i feel your thoughts on not wanting to wait so long! It took us 7 months to get pregnant...found out at 5 months we were having twins! My heart goes out to you as well & trust in God that he will bless you again. He knows why things go as they do. keep your faith. & talk to anyone who will listen. God bless you & your family.

My heart goes out to you and the other members in this thread. I am so sorry for everything that has happened and you all will be in my prayers. Here is a WebMD article, Study: No Need to Delay Pregnancy After Miscarriage that I thought you might want to discuss with your doctors. Many doctors have different beliefs as to when the best time is for TTC. Please take care of your health and self. (((soft hugs)))

I am so, so sorry for your loss...

I don't have a personal story to share as both of my losses were in early pregnancy, but I can tell you about my brother and sister in law. They experienced a stillbirth at 41 weeks in January of 2001. Their daughter had been moving around that morning...but when they went in to the hospital for their scheduled induction that afternoon, they couldn't detect a heartbeat. They did an emergency c/s but the baby did not survive. Because she had been full term, the doctors did advise that they avoid pregnancy for 6 months...just to allow her body to recover physically. It took a little longer for them to be ready emotionally...but they eventually started trying and conceived in August of 2002 (19 months later). They gave birth to a healthy baby boy in April of 2003 (my SIL was three months shy of her 37th birthday at that time).

My heart goes out to your and your husband...

(((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you are doing OK.

I noticed this post was a few weeks ago, so you may not be checking it anymore, but I wanted to share my story with you. I am 30, will be 31 this summer.

*TRIGS w/ mention of new pregnancy*
My husband and tried to conceive (TTC) for about a year before we got pg. I was 29. Everything was great & normal thru the first 19 wks; around 19 wks I had some cramps one night. The next wk @ the 20 wk u/s we found out our little boy's heart was no longer beating. Labor was induced. We had him Aug 6th of '09 and had his funeral the next week. It was a terrible terrible time and I cried for months almost anytime I was alone; I didn't want to go out, for fear I'd see pregnant women or babies and it just made my chest ache and ache for my sweet baby.
My husband grieved with me but as the weeks turned into months I could tell a difference with the depth of the grieving. I don't know why its that way, other than b/c as mothers, we carry the baby and from getting that positive pregnancy test on , you are never alone and always thinking of the baby with every bite you eat, every sip you drink, your daily vitamins etc... Then when it ends so tragically its its not only unbearable sad, it also changes every aspect of your life, what you've focused all of your attention and energy on... whereas for the dads they don't have that every-second connetion until the birth.
I wanted to post to tell you we waited until after the due date (so about 4-5 months) before TTC again. This time it only took 3 months to get pregnant and we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl right before Christmas this year. I am 30 and will be 31 this summer. I still miss my son and will always have a loving & tender place in my heart that aches to hold him, but I am no longer in that thick sadness that hung over me when I lost him.
(((hugs))) again.

@ TeacherBeck I know it has been almost 2 years but I want to send my condolescenes for losing your angel (your son). It has been 7 weeks and 1 day for my since I lost my angel Raymond. And it hurts really bad. My heart aches at times and I feel real empty. I am in counseling and reaching out to every positive help to help me get through this the right way. The problem I see happening on down the road is my husband wants to try again but I don't know if I feel the same way. I am very scared to have to go through something so awful again in my life. Pure pain is what I feel. I would like to know from you how was the journey when you did get prego again?? What precautions did the doctors take?? And how do you feel now when you think about your angel in heavan. I feel as if I am stuck and like I will never get beyond this. I appreciate you so much for sharing what you can to help me. Much Peace and Love

I'm sorry for your loss. This is a late post but if you are checking hopefully this may help. Four years ago, I was pregnant with my 2nd child and went into labor unexpectedly at 26 weeks. My daughter was in the NICU for 5 days before she passed away. Needless to say, my husband and I were devastated. But there is hope. It took 6 months before I could even consider trying again. Even then it was more a case of we aren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying" either. After about 18 months, I felt comfortable to make the full effort. I got my positive pregnancy test 20 months after I lost my daughter. Normally, I'm a pretty laidback person but was total stress bucket during this pregnancy (especially the closer I got to 26 weeks). I was classified as high risk (AMA - I was 40 & PTL then diagnosed with GD - I really hate initials). I was on weekly progesterone injections from 16-37 weeks along with insulin injections/blood testing for the diabetes - so I felt like a pin cushion by the time it was all through. But was well worth it when my 2nd daughter was born on 10/15/2009 (National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day). I will always mourn the loss of my first daughter and my second child is certainly not a "replacement child" (as some have suggested). I wasn't sure I would ever be able to take that risk again but it worked out wonderfully for me. I hope every woman here has the same wonderful outcome.

hi i just wanted to say i am really sorry for your lost. i went through the same thing. I am 19 but at the time i was 18 years old and pregnant with triplets, all girls. That was my second pregnancy my first pregnancy didnt even go to a hole month when i found out it was a miscareg. So when i got pregnant agen they said i was pregnant with twins but wen i was 3 months pregnant they saw it was triplits, me and my husbin wer so excited we were ready to have them. but one morning at around 5 am i was spoting.i was 2 days away from being 23 weeks pregnant. we went to the hospital and they checked me and said everything was fine. later that day at around 6 pm i was getting some cramping so i went to bed nd fell asleep. at 1 in the morning i couldnt take the pain anymore so we went to the hospital. they said i was 9cm. and they couldnt save them. me and my husbin couldnt belive it i didnt want to push them out i didnt want any docter touching me my water hadent broken yet so i still had hope. at around 11;30 they broke my water and there came out my little girls. they each lasted an houre alive and also died in our arms. me and my husbin looked into how small a baby can be born and still live. we saw a baby at 20 weeks be born and still lived. we wer so mad and didnt know what to do so we just droped it. nothing will bring them back. we still cry i still imagen them moving in my tummy. me and my husbin really wanted a baby but loosing them made me realize i only want them and no other baby. i heard that the biggest pain in the world is loosing a child. if i was you i would think twice

Hi, I miscarried twice wasn't full term, but both have heart-beatings, and I'm 30 I know also how you feel about the age, I feel I'm almost done with this about trying again, I was 3 months pregnant when I lost my baby, my ex husband was sad of course but they are more strong than us, and that make me more sad and more mad at him, I was so so depressed that I was loosing a lot of weight, and crying every single day at the same time I miscarriage, I've been trying for almost 2 years and nothing, my doctor said that I'm find my ultrasound are find and my new husband sperm count is normal, What I wanna tell you with all this?? That I'm still crying for my babies after 3 years, no one understand us how we feel, you gonna see a lot of people around you saying, "Don't worried you gonna be find"," just keep trying", or "for some reason God took them" hate when people don't have an idea about our feelings, just those people who lived the same like us before understand!!! But the only thing I can tell you, is pray, pray for your peace of mind, and pray for your lit ones!!! God Bless Dear!!!! and if you have to cry every single day do it!!!