Coping with Pregnancy Loss Community

I posted my story on the high risk board a few weeks ago, but have since lost our baby girl. In a nutshell, the pregnancy was going great, until 19 weeks. We had our first ultrasound around 12 weeks, heard the heartbeat for the first time at 16 weeks, and were getting ready to find out the gender at our 20 week appointment. I started feeling strange, then started bleeding during my 19th week. I went into the ER, and was told that I had an incompetent cervix, that I was already dilated between 2.5 and 3cm. I was admitted to the hospital, started on antibiotics, and was prepped for an attempted cerclage the next morning. When the dr got in there, he said I had an hourglass membrane, meaning that the amniotic sac was protruding, already trying to come out, and was in fact partially past my cervix. With the cerclage attempt, he had to push it back in, which seemed to be okay, but when he was placing the stitches, he got the first two in successfully, and the third ruptured the membrane (broke my water). I was told that I would lose the baby within a few hours. Three days later, after being on bedrest and continuously leaking amniotic fluid, the baby still had a strong heartbeat, and I was sent home. The doctor told me to go about my normal life, doing housework as I normally would, but I couldn't bring myself to do much. I basically kept myself on bedrest. One week later, I was getting dressed when I started feeling sick. While throwing up my breakfast (not uncommon in my experience, throughout the pregnancy), I felt the baby coming out. We rushed to the hospital, where I delivered within probably 30 minutes of arriving. Hayleigh was 10inches long, and weighed 10.6 ounces. Luckily, the doctor was able to get the placenta out without having to perform a D&C. We lost Hayleigh on April 2, so it's only been a little over a week. I still am pretty much an emotional wreck, and am glad that I am able to take off work for awhile. I'm just hoping that my doctor will allow me to continue my leave for a few more weeks, until I can gather myself a little bit. My fiancee and I will be married on May 21, and we will be trying to conceive again, although we will probably wait a little while, to give ourselves time to grieve. I wonder how many women out there have been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix, and how many go on to have normal (or relatively normal-I know a cerclage is necessary from this point on) pregnancies and healthy babies... My mom was diagnosed as having an incompetent cervix after 1 miscarriage and a delivery at 20 weeks. Her diagnosis was when she delivered what would have been my older brother in 1982. She went on to have 5 relatively healthy children, with 5 cerclages between 1984 and 1998. Of those out there with this diagnosis, I also wonder whether or not this is hereditary. My doctors say that there's no proof that it is, but after my experience, I wonder, for no other reason than I have 2 younger sisters, and don't want them to have to experience what I did in order to get this diagnosis...