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Pregnancy failed 2 weeks ago
bummedoutmama posted:
I saw my OBGYN this past thursday. I had my miscarriage follow up appt to be sure the mc happened completely and on its own and didnt need any medical intervention. I dreaded going all week and when I got there it was harder than I could have ever imagined. I was only pregnant for maybe 1 week and lost it just days before fathers day.

I knew going to the appt that I wasn't pregnant anymore. I just didn't expect being told I wasn't would be as hard as it was. I feel just blah these last few days since the appt. I know I only knew about the pregnancy for a week but we were sooo excited and couldn't wait to feel the milestones....heartbeat, kicks, rolls, etc. and in 1 night the excitement went away. Just being in his office where I was pregnant with my 1st child(now 2 years old) seemed unreal. I was so scared during my 1st pregnancy of the unknown, I thought this time would be different when I went to see my doc, but instead I just felt so alone and useless.

My doctor recommends we wait 1-2 cycles before "trying" to get pregnant again. He feels its more important to be emotionally ready to handle another go at it. I don't know that I will ever be emotionally ready to risk feeling this way again no matter when i take the chance. I just wish there was a way to get pregnant and hit fast forward until the 2nd-3rd trimesters when the risk goes down a bit. Maybe I don't mean that, but I think most women understand what I mean.
sarahteacher responded:
I completely understand how you feel. I was 5 weeks when I found out I was having a miscarriage. I had visited the doctor the day I started bleeding and she told me that it was possible that I was earlier along in my pregnacy than we thought, which was why we couldn't hear a heart beat yet. But I knew, or at least had a gut feeling that it wasn't good news for us. I had to wait a couple of days to find out for sure and my husband kept telling me to be hopeful and everything might be fine, but I knew. Even though I knew what the doctor would say, when the words actually came out of her mouth, the feeling was worse than anything I had experienced in those two days.

I think that you can know you're pregnant for even one day and feel that emptiness when you find out it's not happening. We had just told my sister and her husband and experienced the joy it felt to tell people we love our happy news.

I too don't think that I will ever be emotionally ready to risk feeling this way again. All I can do is hope and stay positive. The night before I officially found out we lost the baby, I went to Target and found myself walking around the baby section. I knew in my gut that I wasn't pregnant anymore, and going in that section was only torture, but I felt like I needed to. I found a onesie that said, "I Love My Daddy," on it, and for some reason, I bought it. I knew that we would lose our baby, but also that one day we will have one. I guess it was my way of declaring hope in what feels like a hopeless situation. It helps to know that other women are going through and have gone through what I'm going through:)
bummedoutmama replied to sarahteacher's response:
I had told my brother and parents 2 days before the bleeding started. I had told my coworkers the very day I started bleeding....I had announced it and filed the intermittent leave claim with Aetna at work in case anything was to come up and I needed to miss work unexpectadly. I was planning for morning sickness not loss of a child sickness.

Thanks for sharing your story, its weird how knowing someone else has felt this kind of pain actually does help. I know I will try again and probably will as soon as possible, not because I am desperate for a baby, but because I know for me I am not trying to replace the baby I "could" have had but because I know I will never forget this. I am willing to take the risk for the magical feeling you get when that little person looks into your eyes the first time, or when they grab your finger and the best of all part hearing "mommy" the first time.
sarahteacher replied to bummedoutmama's response:
This would have been our first baby, so I have yet to experience all those wonderful things you're describing. The wierd thing is that all the time I was pregnant, other than my symptoms, I didn't feel the way I imagined I would feel. Of course I was happy and excited, but I almost felt like it wasn't real. Not sure if that's because somehow I knew that it might not be. My sister had a molar pregnancy and found out at 11 weeks. She said that she actually never felt a connection to that baby the way she had with my nephew when he was inside her belly. I wonder if there's anything to that?
bummedoutmama replied to sarahteacher's response:
Thats interesting. Who knows maybe there is something to that? Even before my 1st positive home pregnancy test, i just had a feeling. Even before I had confirmed it by test I backed off drinking nay alcohol at all....don't drink much anyway so this wasnt that hard, I really limited my sugar and coffee intake as these are probably my biggest vices. Once I had it confirmed I was over the moon, so was my hubby. He was already kissing my tummy when he would leave and rubbing it at night for those few days.

I am trying to figure out what to do? When do I got for it again? I know I shoudl wait until I get at least 1 normal period....hopefully in the next couple weeks, but should I take that as my green light to take another chance once its come and gone? Or do you think I should wait 2-3?

I sometimes wish I could be on the guys side of things....makes you wonder.....what do they think about all this?
Jenn50701 replied to bummedoutmama's response:
I lost my baby at ten weeks and my doctor told my husband and I to wait at least 2 cycles before trying again. This was our second pregnancy. Best of luck and keep hopeful.
trinionboard responded:
I sure do.For me it was last fourth of July weekend when we lost our baby at 18 weeks, each month goes into another and my husband says it's time for us to have a baby. I want so much to because am 39 yrs old and that was to be our first child together and by the worlds standard am as old as the not sure when is the right time for me to get pregnant anymore and although each month when i see my period i die a little seeing my chances slip slowly away.Emotionally it's the thought that i was ready but my guess is my body was not .I'll keep you in my prayers as my wish for you is to have your second child and that he or she will be healthy and bring you much joy .
Sincerly ,
psluckystar32 responded:
Hi there, im so sorry about your loss,I know how you feel, I had two misscarriages in a row, 1st was last september, I went for my ultrasound at 8wks and they did not find a heart beat they said it was a missed miscarriage the baby stopped growing at 6wks,2nd in january I started spotting 3 days after I had a positive hpt i was about 5wks,is been so hard I really want to try for a baby girl, I have two boys 16 and 5 and the clock is ticking, my doctor did all kind of tests and said everything was normal and i can get pregnant very easily when i had my first boy I had an IUD and had it for 10 years and i got pregnant one month after they took it out,the last two pregnancies all i had to do was stop the contraceptive and got pregnant right away but could not retain them, I have been so reluctant to get pregnant again after the last one,I don't know if i can handle another miscarriage,my boys keep me going I think about my two angels everyday, my husband wants to try one more time he wants a little girl so bad but I don't know what to do!
Good luck to you,Im sending baby dust your way!
bummedoutmama replied to psluckystar32's response:
Thanks for your kind thoughts trinionboard, I just wish I knew what to tell you in your situation but i don't. I simply don't know how it feels to 'know the clock is ticking" well at least not yet as I am still 25. I can understand the stress to the idea of the biological clock and i know you will do what is right for you.

psluckystar32 that had to be horrible to go in to the dr thinking things are fine and be told otherwise. I can't begin to imagine how I would react had it been me. I too got pregnant with my daughter and this child very quick...we pretty much decided both times we would start when my period started and by my due date.....for auntie flow that is, the next next month i was pregnant. my daughter was born at 35 weeks due to a placenta previa complication and this child was maybe only 2 weeks at most.....i just am wondering if staying pregnant is my issue.

Today makes 3 weeks ago that I began to mc. Its just emotional because I had made an appt to see a dr that i would be going to see in a fe days. I find myself thinking....what would the due date have been? How far along exactly would i be? Then I tell myself to stop it because it just makes it harder.

Spotlight: Member Stories

Im Becky I have 2 boys. My husband and I loss our oldest son on April15,2008. He was a stillborn. And our 2nd son will be 2 in June.

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