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    What next? Do I go for it or wait?
    bummedoutmama posted:
    Today makes 5 weeks ago that my miscarriage started. I was very early in pregnancy so the bleeding only lasted like 3 days, but the emotional days still hit like a ton of bricks. I woke up this morning thinking oh its wednesday that makes today 5 weeks since things came crumbling down. As if that wasn;t hard enough I looked at my calender and realised that today would have been my 1st appt with my new OBGYN I would have been around 8-10 weeks and would be hearing the heartbeat and nearing the end of trimester 1 but instead I find myself pondering when I should "brush myself off" and try again. My cycle officially reset and I had a horribly painful period this past weekend which thankfully is finally over.

    How long did everyone else wait to try again? My head says to go for it since my cycle is reset but my heart is wavering between fear and desire to be pregnant again. I hate not being in control of my own life...really make me nutso.
    MissingmyJ responded:
    Hi.. I am sorry for your loss... I am new on here and nervous to share my experience but thought I would give it a try.. Me and my fianc? have been together for 9 years in October and have been trying to Conceive since almost the beginning. I found out I was pregnant in march and was so excited. I wanted a boy so bad. I had all my appointments and ultrasounds and everything was normal. On July 6th I went in for my normal check up with some cramping. The doc said it was normal and we listened to the baby's heartbeat and I felt at ease.. An hour later my water bag broke and my whole world turned upside down. I rushed to the hospital to find out that I was gonna have to deliver the baby. I still can't wrap my head around it. He was beautiful. I can't even type this without crying. I want to be a mom so bad and don't know if j will be able to handle going through it again. We were supposed to find out what he was on the 21st of July and I just can't deal. my fianc? wants to try again but I don't know if I can... I just need someone to talk to... No one understands...
    bummedoutmama replied to MissingmyJ's response:
    I am extremely sorry for your loss and especially how it hanppened. That is my biggest fear going into trying again....what if i do get pregnant again right away and make it past the first few weeks and then lose it after having heard the heartbeat, felt movement. I just can't imagine it.

    I understand being hesitant to try again, in fact after my 1st baby (now 2 a little girl) came 5 weeks early due to a pregnancy complication called placenta previa, and her being an emergency c section and being transported to another hospital that day without was rough. I was sure I wanted more children......but really unsure if I could handle pregnancy again since my risk at another "high risk" pregnancy is now very high, but in time....2 years to be exact....I am trying to have a baby so the miscarriage i experienced recently didn't help but I am coaching myself to a place of acceptance that I did nothing wrong and it's extremely common and things will be better next time.

    Good luck and hang in there....keep posting...even if others don't always reply....its often just a good outlet for your thoughts without judgement.
    mirror1984 replied to MissingmyJ's response:
    I feel the same way I lost my twin boys at 20 weeks on mother's day and they could not tell me why they said that everything looked fine still to this day I can't look at a baby without crying my husband wants to try again but I am to scared that it will happen again and no one can understand that they say it can't happen twice but I know it can and I don't think I can handle it
    bummedoutmama replied to mirror1984's response:
    I would be fearful as well.....and still am somedays, but we have decided we are going for it. We will take it easy not go nuts trying but definately not prevent it....we dont' seem to have too much trouble conceving it maintaining apparently that we may or may not have the issue with.

    Only you can know how you feel but i know if i had made it as far as you I would be giving myself more time, but I don't know I just feel like with each day I gain a bit more acceptance and know that I will just be in close contact with doc from the first sign......whenever I end up seeing it. :>
    MissingmyJ replied to mirror1984's response:
    It has been 3 weeks since it happened and still am wishing it was a dream. Deep down I want to be a mom so bad that I want to give myself along with my fianc? to be amazing parents but I don't know if I will ever be able to know when the time is right. Ya know. It will be 4 years in September that my dad passed away and still I cry. So I want to just let the cards fall where they may but I am just so scared, which I know is perfectly normal. Maybe we can talk some more or I can give you my email and we can help each other.... I am in a what to do. How to deal mood... I just want my son back...

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