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How does one go on after a miscarriage?
andi0930 posted:
I want to say I'm sorry to all the ladies who lost precious babies. I mc on July 18th at 8 weeks and don't feel like I'm getting much past it- a pervasive sadness seems to stick. How do you get past something that you can't really talk about? I could talk more about the passing of my Dad but whoa on the miscarriage stuff! I feel like women are locked in a special closet for miscarriages. I know our babies are in heaven but that doesn't always do it.
ronettacheryll responded:
i'm sorry for your loss, andi0930. i, too, experienced a mc in the spring of 2005 and it was very tough. i was still in undergrad, and unsure of any type of plan of action my child's father and i were going to take, so God taking the baby from me and keeping him/her in heaven was probably for the best. i mc around 9-10 weeks, about 5 weeks after i tested positive and 3 weeks after it'd been confirmed by my doctor. it was also around the time i'd finally come to grips with the fact that i was pregnant, although i was still weighing options for a plan of action.

i remember crying a lot at the onset of the mc. i found that leaning on my cousins and closest girl friends helped a lot with the sadness. keeping occupied, not to forget about the baby, but to keep your mind from being fixed on the miscarriage, also helps. stay around positivity and be active. cry if you need to. the best way to get over this is to not blame yourself and do whatever feels natural to you, emotionally. if you need to scream, if you need to pray, cry, rest, those things when they feel right. there's no time frame you have to follow to get past such a traumatic event.

i think i got past it when i threw myself into my schoolwork and an exercise regimen. the fall semester after the miscarriage i got 4 As and 1 B, and by the end of the year, i'd lost my freshman 15 (finally). i felt accomplished. it didn't take the place of my child, but i did have a renewed sense of confidence. for a while, i blamed myself for being unprepared, and thus miscarrying. afterwards i did become depressed. but the only person who can start your path to recovering and moving forward, is you.

i would recommend talking with your ob/gyn about how you're feeling; maybe some therapy would help you with sorting things out, since this just happened a month or so ago (mine was over 6 years ago, so it's a lot easier to talk about). time also heals all wounds, so give yourself plenty of time to cope. keep a daily journal so that you can visibly track your progress. it feels good after a while, looking back and seeing how far you've come.

i hope i helped!

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Christina - Texas - Married to DH May 2003, 1 D/S Oct-2003, 1 M/C April 2010, 2nd M/C possible Twins 6/2010 currently TTC #5/6 was a member of the We...More

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