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Missed Miscarriage
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bella3250 posted:
Hi everyone. I went to the dr. on thursday and when he did the transvaginal ultrasound he didn't see the heartbeat and told us the baby had died. I was 8 weeks 5 days. The baby was measuring 7w5days. I was in the office when I was 5w5d and we saw the heartbeat. We were so excited. Now I have to wait to miscarry on my own which can take up to two weeks or I can have a d&c done. My husband and I are devistated. We wanted this child so badly and just like that it's gone. Anyone else have this experience and get through it to try again? Thank you.
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scarolinarn responded:
Hi Bella,

I went through the same thing with my 2nd pregnancy- my frist pregnancy was a "chemical"pregnancy and mc at 5 weeks. with my 2nd pregnancy I went in at 7 weeks for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat- baby measured at 6w 4d. We waited another week and I still did not m/c naturally so I had a D&C. The D&C was easy- minimal pain- minor cramping that night that was relieved with motrin and minimal bleeding for 1-2 days. It was a very difficult time, but each day gets easier. We were able to try again after a couple of months and 1 year to the day that I had my D&C, we brought home our son. Each person copes with a loss differently- I found it easier to just get back to my normal routine and try to not focus. Wishing you the best
 
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Marie25smp responded:
Hi Bella,
First of all I want to tell you how very sorry I am for you and your husband. I have never been vocal in groups like this but I want to give you insight and also try myself to grieve in a postive way (which is very hard). Four years ago I had a wonderful pregnancy that ended in disaster. I did everything right and had a normal healthy pregnancy until 11 days before my due date. I went to the doctor and was told there was no heartbeat. We did an ultrasound immediately and was sent straight to the nearest hospital. I had to deliver a nearly 8 pound baby that had passed away in my womb with no known cause; luckily I got to choose to have a c-section thank god. I dont remember much of the year after but i know I went on to my old job and tried to get my life back together, which honestly is still a struggle. I also miscarried that next year and thought the world was caving in on me but i somehow managed. I recently got married to the same man who lost these babies with me and I can happily say we are now 8 weeks pregnant today. Pregnant for the third time with no babies at home and am scared beyond words. I hope I can help give you faith to go on and feel strength and courage that you can try again and again and again if you have to. Stay close to your loved ones and be vocal about whats on your mind. I went to counseling for a year also which did me some good. Reading books also help and Im finding that this website is a good outlet; its comforting to know many women experience so many similiar experiences and make it out ok. Stay positive.
 
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woody1983 responded:
Hi bella,

I am so sorry for your loss...seems so eerily familiar to my ears unfortunatly.

Here is my story. I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 at 11 weeks (with my current husband, not ready for a baby but would have loved it no matter what, still do love him/her, think of them often), No heartbeat on the ultrasound. Had to have a DNC. Fast forward 7 years. My husband and I got pregnant (tried for a few month) and had an u/s at 7 weeks. saw a strong heartbeat. The doc asked if we wanted to come back in two weeks or wait a month (I had asked him what the chances of M/C was and he said less than 1%). I said 2 weeks. Went back when I was 9 weeks only to be told there was no heartbeat. It was one of the worst days of my life.
My doc asked immediatly what we wanted to do, I said we needed a second opinion.
I went and got the second opinion only for it to be the same awful news. My doc then told me I had to wait 2 weeks to see if I would miscarry on my own. I did not and had to have a DnC. Not a bad experience except for the emotions involved.
That was Oct. 26 2009. I got pregnant with my daughter on Nov. 19th 2009 (unknowingly of course). Never had a cycle after my dnc and she is a bouncing 14 month old.

There is light at the end of the tunnel....very hard to see it right now but we got through it and tried again and it was a stressful yet positive outcome. Wish you all the best and these ladies here are amazing and so supportinve. Good luck on your journey!


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