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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Sex Fulfillment
An_229300 posted:
I was married a virgin and since getting married we have had very little sex and very little satisfying sex that after 4 months of that I would still consider myself a virgin.... Help !
stephs_3_kidz responded:
If you've had vaginal intercourse you are no longer a virgin. Not sure what you're referring to.

What is unsatisfying about it? The frequency? Or the actual deed? Have you read any books about different positions, etc? Or have you considered marriage counseling, or even talking with your doctor?
ImMe26 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
This post seems sooooo familiar.........Hmmmmmm.
Don't put off tomorrow, what you can accomplish today!! Procrastination is a KILLER!!--ME(26)SO(28)DD1(10yr)DD2(8yr)DS(2yr)SO's-DD(8yr)DS1(6yrs)DD(5yr)LUV THEM ALL ALWAYS WANTED A HUGE FAMILY
ImaLeeder replied to ImMe26's response:
Yes I know its familiar but it keeps cropping up in my marriage. Its both the frequency and the deed itself. I just don't seem to be aroused. We have tried some positions and I try to do new things... Read books? We practically have a library but he never seems to have the time to want to read them with me. I feel kind of like there must be something wrong with me as to why I don't feel much and I would think that it is not much fun for either of us but there doesn't seem to be much to spice it up.... I don't know, he hasn't had sex in a long time its almost like he outgrew the "phase"... that he doesn't have desire... He is not a night person and in the morning he likes to get up right away, it is very difficult to figure out. If you have some specific books, positions, or something in mind I would like to hear about it. As for "feeling like a virgin" I just mean that I don't feel like I have had any sex being significantly memorable that I feel like I have had sex. I understand the biological definition.... We have tried marriage counseling but that doesn't seem much better, I think that I might start going in on my own and talking to a therapist about it, he thinks its a waste of time and we don't move forward much, I don't know, maybe we just have a bad therapist. Its the only one in town though... Please give me some tips !
stephs_3_kidz replied to ImaLeeder's response:
Well, I'll just say it. I think you're the same poster as newlywed..who's also been married about 4 months. Whose husband also likes oral sex. Who's also been to marriage counseling and it didn't work. Whose husband used to be really into sex and now..not so much.

If I'm wrong I'm wrong but there's too many similarities.
ImaLeeder replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
Ok, I can see your point, but even if our situations are similar, I would still appreciate giving some feedback on my specific situation. Thanks.
ImaLeeder replied to ImaLeeder's response:
Oops I meant receiving !
butterfly19790424 replied to ImaLeeder's response:
Since marriage counseling didn't work, why not talk to your OBGYN or see a sex therapist?
A true friend is someone who knows you're a good egg even if you're a little cracked
ImaLeeder replied to butterfly19790424's response:
I haven't seen an OBGYN, what does a sex therapist do exactly? Isn't it hard to look at pictures in a book and do them. Sometimes I wonder if there is a step by step class offered. Have you seen "Meet the Fockers" you know where she has a bunch of older people doing some kind of sexual yoga ???
butterfly19790424 replied to ImaLeeder's response:
Read this:

And no, its not hard looking at pictures and trying new things. I havent seen Meet the Fockers in several years. But, if I recall she was a sex therapist.
A true friend is someone who knows you're a good egg even if you're a little cracked

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