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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    Confessions 8/9/11 thru 8/14/11 How easily should a man cry? Do you or your spouse get choked up easily?
    GuardSquealer posted:
    I confess I get choked up and teary eyed very easily. Over the weekend the association that was holding the show had a big Scholarship competition for the youths. They put up $7500 in scholarship money so a lot of youth competetors came in from around the country to compete. My daughter was one of the older kids there. On Sunday she talked all the kids into wrapping their horses legs with crazy colored leg wraps. For the kids that didn't have any she let them use some of her own. One little girl didn't know how to use the wraps that my daughter uses, so my daughter wrapped the legs for her. The little girl was very excited and happy to get to be like all the other kids.

    A little later the girls parents approached my daughter and thanked her for being so nice to their daughter. They said she didn't have many friends and people usually didn't treat her so nicely at the shows. They said it meant alot to them and their daughter that she was so nice to her.

    Well when she was telling me the story I got a little choked up. I didn't let me daughter know that I was. I find it embrassing that I get so choked up so easily. Well this morning I was telling my wife the story and I could hardly get it out. Could control my emotions. Not sure if it was being proud of my daughter or feeling bad for the little girl with no friends and people being mean to her.

    Just typing this made me cry. I cry easily at movies also. My wife and daughter think it is so funny. I find it terribly embrassing. Big ole guy sobbing at a movie that isn't even that sad just isn't very funny to me.

    I think dealing with my mom has caused me some type of emotional trauma where I can't control my emotions when it comes to things like this. I am not sure. But it sure is a pain to cry anytime something strikes me as touching or sad.

    I think the last movie that I watched that affected me this was "The time travelers wife" it was being replayed on HBO a couple weeks ago and I started watching it. And it made me cry. My wife walked in and was like "what are you watching?" Can't believe that movie made you cry. I get sad about true love and obstacles getting in the way.

    Anyways, do you know a guy easily? Do you cry easily? What makes you cry? Any movies stick out that made you cry and didn't think they should? Just curious.

    The youth scholarship competition was nice. My daughter won the senior division and added another $750 to her college fund.
    cjh1203 responded:
    What a sweet thing your daughter did. You seem to have raised such a great child.

    I think it's sweet that you get emotional so easily, but I can understand why it's sometimes embarrassing for you, since that's not the typical image of men. I think that crying easily probably denotes a strong sense of empathy, which you do seem to have.

    I've only seen my husband cry 5-6 times in 20 years -- always in response to the deaths of people who were close to him. Oh, and at our wedding. He was very emotional and barely made it through his vows. That was very surprising to me, and touching.

    I cry very easily, too -- even TV commercials can make me cry. I try not to watch sad movies. The one that had the biggest effect on me was the Charles Laughton version of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". I saw it on TV about 25 years ago, by myself, and I sobbed for, literally, at least two hours. I cried most of the next day at my desk at work, and off and on for days after that. I saw that it was on just a day or two ago, and I could see myself right back in that house, on that sofa, crying my eyes out all those years ago.

    Congratulations to your daughter on her win -- how exciting for all of you!
    Spankyrae responded:
    It's so different for men than women. We're stereotyped as being such emotional, sharing people that it just makes sense we'd cry easily and/or in public. But in our society, men are taught to hold in their feelings and that you're less of a man if you cry.

    Now, I admit I probably wouldn't want my BF to cry a lot, because I like balance in a relationship. I think he is also a very sensitive person, but with him it's in other ways than mine. But I have seen him cry a few times... for both sad and happy things. He freely admits to me that sometimes he cries when he prays.

    I don't judge him or poke fun at him at all, because I know how sensitive he is and his perception of crying=weakness. Plus, for someone who's not very expressive, I want him to feel comfortable enough to be that vulnerable with me.

    I used to judge myself for being so emotional and crying a lot. Now that I realize I'm just a highly sensitive person, I'm ok with it. Plus, I cry more over happy things than out of sadness. I'll cry over movies, commercials, news stories, some posts on here... It just is what it is, and I'd rather be a human than a robot.
    fcl responded:
    I'm not a very emotional person and it takes an awful lot for me to cry. It's not something that I deliberately avoid, it just doesn't happen.

    Movies that have made me cry? Just one that I can think of.I had just made my decision to stay in France (and if ever a decision was hard to make...) and had gone to see "Local Hero" with my partner in the centre of Marseille. It was filmed in my region of Scotland. I have lived in places such as you see in the movie. I have known people like several of the characters ... Towards the end I started to feel tears coming. There is a scene right at the end where one of the main characters, having gone back to his penthouse and porsche, looks out over the Houston sky and is clearly wondering what he is doing there ... And I came out of the cinema and looked up at the stars and ... was overwhelmed. It took HOURS to get me calmed down that night

    Anyway, these days I use it for therapeutic reasons (lol). When I feel a little down or depressed, I sit down and watch "Local Hero" and WALLOW in it. It's surprising how good you feel after a good cry

    My partner cries much more easily than I do (which isn't actually saying very much - lol). It doesn't bother me in the least. He's more sensitive than I am and definitely the more nurturing of the pair of us.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    candy352 replied to fcl's response:
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man crying. I think it shows empathy and it's great to show that you are emotional. I wish my DF showed more emotions. I never know what he's thinking or how he is feeling. In the past, I hardly ever cried. The only time I cried at funerals if there was a large group of my family that was crying, then I would suddenly burst out. It was crazy. I didn't cry at the wake of my grandmother, and I only cried once I saw her before the funeral. with these raging hormones, I cry sooooo easily. I'm so not used to this. I hate crying and I hate for anyone to see or know that I'm crying. I don't know why.
    fcl replied to candy352's response:
    " I don't know why. "

    I think that perhaps those who do not want to be seen crying feel that way because they are afraid that crying might be percieved as weak by others... I also think that these same people are being too hard on themselves. In many cases it's a double standard - they don't mind if others cry but do not wish to be seen to do so themselves.

    There is so much negativity about crying and it's so unfair. Name calling - "cry baby!". Manipulation - "crying to get your own way", "crying to give someone a guilt trip", "turning on the waterworks". Deceit - "crocodile tears". The list is long. Where's the positive? And yet, crying allows you to evacuate emotions in a simple manner. Crying can give a temporary feeling of euphoria ...

    Just some totally random witterings on my part ... with no answer.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    gd9900 responded:
    "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love." Washington Irving

    I love that quote.

    Guard you've raised a compassionate young woman...such a rarity in young people these days. Congrats to her for winning more scholarship money! I'm sorry you feel embarrassed for crying...there's nothing wrong with you for doing so. As with any emotion it shows great sensitivity to all that surrounds you.

    I'm a person who wears my emotions on my shirtsleeve as they say. But I don't neccessarily talk about things when I am all emotional...I find if I do I tend to regret it later. I have a tendancy to cry over movies, tv shows, books, music, basically anything relating to heartbreaks/hardships. My husband doesn't cry much (at least not in front of me) but when he does I know he is sincerely feeling something from deep within.

    Lately I am filled with sadness and grief over the emotional distance and physical separation between my husband and I...I've been crying a lot, mostly in private but there are times when it hits me and I can't control it. I'm grieving over what we did/didn't do to get to this point and I'm sad he's not there when I get home. Its not all bad and sad though...we are growing as people during this time and I hope we eventually end up on the same page. I do my best to stay in the present moments of the day so I am not thinking about things but it is always there in the background.
    fcl replied to gd9900's response:
    gd9900, I didn't know that quote. Thank you for sharing it. I shall treasure it. It's beautiful.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    gd9900 replied to fcl's response:
    Your welcome FCL - I didn't know of this quote until recent years myself...It was spoken at the end of a "Criminal Minds" episode, and yes, I cried like a baby over it.
    summer_is_here replied to gd9900's response:
    Why is there two discussions about this.
    Anon_121810 replied to summer_is_here's response:
    why do you answer posts with ...................
    cjh1203 replied to summer_is_here's response:
    There have been a lot of technical glitches with WebMD -- often, you get a message saying "WebMD is not available", so you post it again and then they both show up. Or sometimes, nothing ever shows up.
    3point14 responded:
    I confess my relationship confuses me sometimes.

    I confess I'm going to be working 60-70 hour weeks on a regular basis for the next few months, and I love it. Only taking one class this semester, shouldn't go totally crazy.

    I confess to having a harmless crush on one of my better friends. I'm totally disgusted with myself for feeling this way, and am obviously not going to do anything about it. I think it's a weird idol-worship thing, because I wouldn't even try anything if we were both totally single, she's just so damn cool and pretty that it killlls me.

    In terms of crying, I cry super easily. I never used to when I was in horrible relationships, but being able to let my guard down has brought me back to when I was a kid, and would cry at the drop of a hat. Happy tears, angry tears, all pretty common. I probably cry once every two days. I feel like it's acceptable because I don't get all caught up on it.

    The manfriend's not a huge crier, but he's equally comfortable with it and isn't afraid to cry. We cried over an episode of Nanny 911 just the other night together, it was very nice. He's not melodramatic about it, it's just a form of expression. I think it's very comforting, it lets me really see how he's feeling, and lets me feel comfortable enough to show him when I cry. My Dad was always comfortable crying, so it was a shock to me when I realized most men aren't open about it.

    I wept at almost every Harry Potter movie, I wept at an episode of Dirty Jobs one time, and I totally lost my mind over this movie "God Has Grown Tired Of Us". It's about these guys in Africa and just basically how awful their lives are. I won't say anymore, but it was so moving.
    GuardSquealer replied to summer_is_here's response:
    I clicked the submit button once, I didn't think it was doing anything so I clicked it again. And bam. Two posts.
    Spankyrae replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    I confess I'm excited for my boyfriend's birthday next weekend, like it's my own. He doesn't get excited about birthdays (unlike me) but I'm planning on spoiling him. He's just gonna have to accept all the love & attention!

    I confess I have been craving NOT eating meat. Usually I aim to eat it at only one meal a day, but haven't been wanting it at all. So I'm rolling with it.

    I confess I thought about how chaotic it used to be with me and the BF... and almost cried. I have to remember it's all in the past. Sometimes I reminisce and get all worked up like it's happening again or start getting afraid things really aren't as good as they seem.

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