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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    guard - just a question
    naggingwife74 posted:
    So I have been thinking about a post you posted yesterday talking about changing from a women's prison to a men's. I was thinking last night about that, don't know why, it just popped in my head!

    Do you wish that you had some of the weight that you lost back now? I just wonder if it is easier to be bigger when you are working in a mens prison because you don't look as weak. That may be a stupid question but I really did a lot of thinking about that last night!

    Are you more intimidated by being with the men in prison? Are you more intimidated because you are smaller now?

    I always use to think I wanted to work in a prison until I visited one about 2 months ago. I didn't go to jail, I was taking a letter to my son's dad who was finally found and arrested for lots of charges. The main one (to me) being not paying child support!

    Anyways, it made me realize that I am not strong enough to work in a jail, and I was just walking through a common area.
    stephs_3_kidz responded:
    I couldn't work in a prison either. It takes someone with a lot of self-confidence and determination to put up with that kind of job.

    My cousin is a prison guard. He gets verbally abused constantly and has had feces and urine tossed at him.
    naggingwife74 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
    Just the verbal abuse alone would break me down to a little sobbing ball by the end of the day I think.

    Then add stuff being thrown at me, nope, I couldn't do it. I just gained a whole new respect for these guys and gals that do that's for sure.
    stephs_3_kidz replied to naggingwife74's response:
    My cousin's tough. Former marine, two tours in Iraq. He says the poo is nothing compared to having RPGs shot at you. LOL

    I guess he's right, in comparison.
    GuardSquealer responded:
    Well my size has always made it easier for me with the women. When ever there was a problem and I showed up they pretty much would calm down.

    Even thought I lost 75 pounds I am still a pretty big guy. Still around 250. And almost 6 foot tall. However compared to our new guests I don't feel real intimidating. These guys have had to fight most of their lives just to survive. And I have never had to fight. We get trained annually in unarmed self defense. But that is just a legal thing the department does. Still pretty sure most of them could whip my butt if they felt the need.

    Inter-personal communication is the key. I am pretty sure I can talk myself out of most situations. If they like you they won't beat you up typically. And if you become friends with the biggest B-A inmate they will keep you safe.

    And there is power in numbers. We have personal alarms we carry that tracks our location within the prison and if we push it an alarm goes off and sends the troops. Hopefully I won't have to worry about any of that. And our troops are actually very small.

    My main goal is to get a post where I won't have to actually have contact with the inmates. My main issue is that I am 47 and haven't had to fight with inmates or strip search them. That is for the young guys. So I hope that my years of seniority get me into a job with less contact. Right now I am the guy that has to respond any time an alarm sounds. That was great with the females. But I am not so excited about it now. lol
    naggingwife74 replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    Well, I hope nobody takes offense to this but I am going to say it in my reply.

    I am not a man but I could totally see why going to an alarm and having to break up women would be much more enjoyable. I would think that because you are a big guy and a man, you get a lot more respect, maybe fear too, from the female inmates then you would the male inmates.

    I would guess that the male inmates expect you to prove that you are tough before they will respect you as being an authority and the female (not all, just generalizing) see that you are in an authority position and have respect because of that. Of course, I've never been on either end so I could be talking out of my buns.

    I could see how getting them on your side would be a benefit. I hope you get the position you want so you don't have to deal with any of that!
    GuardSquealer replied to naggingwife74's response:
    Don't know that it is ever enjoyable, when ever something goes down women or men, you have to be very careful. It isn't like the old days. Everything is documented, tons of paperwork, and if you use too much force you are going to lose your job. So you have to walk a fine line. Just for peace of mind I didn't mind responding as much when they were women. But either way it is never enjoyable. lol

    What is funny that people don't realize is that tonight we are bare bones staffed, there are 6 of us here. One is locked in the control center and can't come out. 3 in dorms and they can't go to another dorm. And two of us to respond. And there are several hundred men here now. Hopefully they don't realize how few of us are here tonight or they might decide to stir things up a little.
    GuardSquealer responded:
    oh and I don't think I will try to prove I am tough. I just have to show them that I am not affraid. Which I am not. I will do what I have to do. And hope it turns out for the best. I have noticed they try to see if I will look them in the eye. They women never did that. But these guys are looking to see if I am affraid. So I just look them back, and ask what?
    Junior_Samples replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    What type of prison is this ? I know there are different levels of prisons throughout the states. Some much more violent then others.
    I hear stories of contraband being smuggled into these prisons all the time, and it's not just the inmates who are the offenders either, but staff members.
    Sounds like if everyone did their job it would eliminate alot of problems in the long run.
    It amazes me how large the prison population is in the U.S. The decay of morals, lack of respect, and parental supervision I believe has alot to do with this issue.

    Sorry to say but the bright side is, that its job security.
    stephs_3_kidz replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    I would be scared!

    A woman I know, her son was stabbed at Red Onion Prison by a crazy guy who made knives out of a shattered light bulb (if I remember correctly). The boy almost died. There was some sort of issue where his co-worker was standing on the other side of the door and couldn't open it to get him out. the little crazy guy climbed on his back and just kept stabbing and cutting until they finally got the door open to that section and dragged them out.
    GuardSquealer replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
    Well this is supposed to be a minimum security prison, and being here is a priviledge. Supposedly. If they do the least little thing wrong they are supposed to be taken out of here and sent somewhere way worse. We will see how that works out.
    longduckdong46 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
    Yeah I would be concerned as well, but if your trained well and you have good co-workers with you I imagine things could be ran pretty tight.
    I believe there should be deterrents for prisoners behaving badly. I know they have the lock ups, but what I'm saying is, if you screw up we will add additional time to your sentence.
    Makes alot of sense to me, otherwise the inmates will run the asylum.

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