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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
O/T Frustrated with Manager
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gd9900 posted:
I've worked with him as my "boss" for over 9 years now. He took over that position when I was hired. He is great at his job (minus the management part!!) He loves problem solving, although he'll tell you to do something one way one time, and a totally different way another time. No consistency!

Most of the time when I go to him for help he'll say "ok, I'll be right there". I used to wait for him but at times if I didn't speak up within a few minutes and remind him of what he said, I could have waited for him for hours. So, I changed my approach. I would ask him when he would be available to help me with a problem, so I could move onto another project in the meantime until he was available. He'd say, ok I'll be done with such and such by the end of the morning and I'll come help you. When he completed the task at hand, he would not come help me as he said he would. I'd end up catching him leave the office or at the end of the day on his way out the door...sometimes he would take a minute to help and other times it was I gotta go, wait until morning...ARRRGGGHHHH!!! My frustration comes in with his saying he will help but then he doesn't follow through like he says. Its like, I hear you but I don't care...or maybe he just forgets?? Am I missing something??

Another peeve of mine and other co-workers in the office...unbeknownst to us for the most part, he will modify our work to squeeze a few pennies out of a job we've already spent sufficient time on. It seems counter-productive to all of us, and it seems it would be more beneficial for him to keep track of and pass along information regarding areas we can keep track of for saving money here and there. I'm sure he means well by doing what he is doing, but he hides it from us and it feels sneaky or controlling in some way. Honestly I don't know where he finds the time to fanagle with such tediousness...but hey, he's the boss! Any thoughts? Others struggle with boss issues???
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gd9900 responded:
Honestly, I'm venting...most days I deal pretty well with this behavior. I really don't like having to deal with it though - the job is stressful enough without that. He isn't a bad person to work with but these things do occasionally get under my skin. I guess today it got under my skin
 
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3point14 responded:
That sounds really irritating, hun. Follow-through is pretty key, I'd say I'm surprised he made it to management, but I guess it's true that people only raise to the highest point of incompetence. Sigh.

I've been having some really bad issues at work with this one lady. Long story short, she's been screwing me over because our manager might be leaving and she's the weakest link here, but I'm the youngest and least experienced. I'm not just being arrogant either, she told a co-worker verbatim "I have the best chance of being needed here if we don't have (Pi) for coverage".

I've tried to talk to her about it, she basically said "So?". I talked to my direct manager about it and was pooh-poohed. I talked with the manager of the store about it, she called the lady into a "meeting". The lady statred weeping and talking about her divorce and how she feels "distant" from me (WTF) and the store manager tells us "No more drama!" and sends us on our way.

I feel really betrayed by management, and really disgusted because this woman is facing absolutely no consequences for how she's treating me, and her general incompetence. So, I'm looking for new work. My direct manager is on vacation so I e-mailed her that basically I was sick of being treated like garbage and having it tossed under the rug and that I was looking for other work. She feels bad about it, and when we get back supposedly "things will get worked out". But I am looking for other work. As much as I love my job, I don't appreciate being made to cry three, four times a week.

So I feel ya. Sometimes work is awful.
 
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gd9900 replied to 3point14's response:
Wow Pi...I am sorry to hear you are so stressed out at work. That lady sounds like a piece of work - very manipulative, and selfish from the sound of things. It's too bad she has made you her scapegoat...you don't deserve that hon!

For what its worth, I think you made a good decision to work through this with management. The one who sees this as drama isn't doing her job...as a manager she should be helping the two of you resolve the issue or find some sort of solution so both of you are happy. Keep your chin up (I know easier said than done) and show your compentency. They should see that you are a better person because you are! If they can't see that, and reward it then finding a different work environment is whats best for you in the long run. (HUGGS!)
 
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3point14 replied to gd9900's response:
Yeah, it's pretty BS. It sucks because I very much love my job and everyone else here, but I feel very lied to and degraded.
((hugs)) and right back at ya!

How're things going with your workplace?

And G, hopefully not for long I don't mind mean, mean is in the eye of the beholder. But mean and incompetent, totally enraging.
 
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gd9900 replied to 3point14's response:
Thanks Pi! Be true to yourself and things will work out for the best. Wow...that sounded soooo very cliche' sorry bout that! My intentions are in the right place for you, I think lol

Work is fine on my end thanks for asking. Unfortunately, it's gaining on the time of year our workload slows down and layoffs are bound to happen. Worrying about having a job on top of all the other stresses I am facing in my life right now, kinda peaks up my sensitivity level. Haha! Its all good - one day at a time.
 
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3point14 replied to gd9900's response:
hehehe Clichés are only clichés because they're true, I appreciate it!

And don't worry about getting laid off (haha like you said, easier said than done), just keep being a good, competent employee. ((hugs)) I know on top of everything it's easy to let pessimistic thoughts in though, and you're in my thoughts. Try to keep a smile on.
 
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stephs_3_kidz replied to 3point14's response:
Being in management is very much like being a parent. You have to be the one in control, you can't write everything off as "drama", and things that require attention must be followed up with consequences.

Any manager who has employees who never have consequences is setting themselves up for failure. Just like being a parent, you can't be the buddy. You have to give guidance and set an example for your employees. If a manager allows stuff like that to go on, it just shows that they are too lazy to deal with it.
 
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gd9900 replied to 3point14's response:
You are in my thoughts too Pi (huggs!) Please keep us posted...I hope for the best to you.


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