Couples Coping Support Group

Hey everybody, I haven't been on here in a long time (so so sorry) and I just wanted to check in real quick. I'd meant to write a long time ago but some very sudden emergency situations happened and I wasn't at work for a long time and also at my sister's so I had no Internet connection. I had to have an urgent surgery so I couldn't get around by myself and my phone is from like a decade ago and hasn't really been working. I did think about all of you from time to time though and I hope everybody's ok!


I'm recovering pretty well now and back at work. I managed to get through my classes (I was blessed with very understanding teachers) and so I'm done with college. My husband and I have been working on our relationship through all this, and I think it was fortunate I was at a distance. We're still going to marriage counseling and he broke down a while ago and arranged to meet with a personal counselor (which, if any of you know my story, is one of the biggest miracles in history). In talking to him he's realized he has some serious issues in his past he needs to deal with. I think it has a lot to do with his childhood/young adult life but I'm not sure what the root of it is and I'm not going to pry. He's made some admirable progress in some areas but of course there's still a long journey of rebuilding himself ahead.


I'm currently living with him again, and it hasn't been bad. I'd say that in the past few months I've really changed as a person. I think you would call it "growing up" and I've learned more about the way the world works in the past few months than I have in my entire life before then. I don't really like knowing the evil, dirty, nitty-gritty details of the world and of people but some of us just can't live in ignorant bliss I guess. And the Midwestern weather this time of year is REALLY not helping my melancholy-ness. *wry smile*



In all this I've at least gotten a little closer to my sister and gotten along pretty well with my mom. When I told my husband I had to be away from him, I asked my sister and mom for help and they helped me and didn't ask any questions. They drove me around and stuff after I started getting better after the surgery and we actually got along.
My husband was very angry when I said I needed to be away from him, but after a while he FINALLY woke up to reality and realized I was gone and might be gone for good, he came to me and told me how wrong he was and that he'd do anything and everything to change himself and that he understood if I didn't want to come back right away but that he really needed my help in bettering himself. He's been keeping his word so far at doing everything he can and hasn't complained about any of his different recovery meetings he does all of them faithfully.



Granted, he still has extreme mood-swings/struggles with porn addiction, but I'm still of the opinion he has something psychologically wrong like bipolarism and needs professional help (which he's voluntarily getting). I also haven't allowed myself to be pushed around which makes him mad sometimes but he's trying to push me around less and less because he actually realizes he's doing it now. He's also realized he has an addictive personality and if he feels he's doing something too much he quits on his own.


Like I said, if any of you know my story you know this is all miraculous. It's been so awful and hard but I always thought of everything you guys taught me and I thank you. That's my update, the end.