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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    Confessions 2012 1-27 through 2-3
    GuardSquealer posted:
    Well I hope the new year is going great for everyone.

    My daughter took my truck and headed to Georgia alone to show in a big show down there. She made the finals tonight. So I confess I am hoping for a big win. She hasn't had one is a while so I think she is do.

    She made her own hotel reservations, not knowing the area she took the cheapest hotel which was also the closest to the facility. Must be a bad neighborhood the clerk told her to stay in her room after 9 with the door locked. Not to good. But she says it is fine, and she only spent like 200 bucks for the week. Just wish she had taken one of our dogs with her.

    The big recanvass at work is over. Everyone is done selecting Jobs/shift/days off. I took first shift with saturday and sunday off. But now I have buyers remorse. Wish I had went back to third. Someone just took a transfer that was in my old job and days off. So I could go back. But I want a Friday / Saturday off on third. So I will just stick it out for a while and see what happens. My new job will make it tough for me to get on the computer at all while I am here. So I will probably post even less.

    And this week is my Birthday week. Really haven't celebrated much yet. My daughter has been gone, so I have been doing the barn work in the evenings. But I think tonight the wife and I are going to go out for dinner. And tomorrow we are going to the Comfort Zone for a massage.

    I confess I don't like getting old. Keep thinking I will get to do something fun like I did when i was a kid. But then realize it is too late. Maybe I need a midlife crisis? So I only have two years left until I am 50. So sad.....
    RoseLynn02 responded:
    I hope you enjoy/ did enjoy your date night w/ the wife. I wish your daughter luck. Let us know if she wins....although I don't even know what kind of show it is....but next time send her with a dog & mase...I always keep some in my car for when I'm out of the house, but I have 2 toddlers & my DH drives OTR so I like to feel more protected. My dad had a midlife crisis about that age...or was it 55?...anyway he bought a motorcycle! I hope I don't freak out about my age...I actually forgot my age yesterday & had to ask hubby how old I was. Stupid since I'm only 25, 26 in March. But with 2 kids & a hubby that's gone all the time, & arthritis at this age sometimes I feel older than I am & it sucks, but that's ok because I have pretty good life compared to plenty of others & I'm proud of that.

    50 isn't so sad I don't think...I think our society looks at aging wrong. I think it is more of an accomplishment (especially with all the dangers & healthy hazards now a days). I think they only way you should look at it as sad is if you look back on your life & realize you wasted it. I refuse to do that...I enjoy my life & work hard to achieve my goals, but I also took plenty of time to have some fun & traveled America. I've been to over half the states in the country. One day I'd like to travel outside of the country & see the rest of the country as well, but I know I will because I have a tendency to achieve my dreams. (except getting over my fear of heights, still working on that but I'm not sure if I really care that much about getting over's not like I want to sky dive or do extreme sports.)

    Anyhow, have a good week & perhaps we shall post again...I'm pretty busy though now that I'm back in school. Obtaining my forensic psychology degree . Very exciting...except for math I don't like math.
    darlyn05 responded:
    Happy belated Birthday Guard! Hope you and your wife enjoyed dinner out, and the Massage. If I was in your shoes concerning your DD traveling alone in the future, I would be reviewing the/her plans for safety sake. I hope she did well and had a wonderful time.

    Wouldn't you get Friday/Saturday off being on third shift? Are you still getting in the extra hours being on first shift? I wish you the best.

    I confess that I've been thinking about Spring and how I'd plan a garden, picnics at the parks and lakes with my DGDs.
    GuardSquealer responded:
    Thanks for the birthday wishes.

    I really did have a great weekend. I had to work a little harder than i wanted on my birthday with my daughter being out of town. And it seems that no one wants to help when I am doing the work.

    My wife and I had some good times together and we were able to watch the webcast of my daughter in the finals friday night. So that was really nerve racking and exciting. She finished 10th out of 65. So she did well. A big win would have been nice. But there are 55 people that would have been happy to finish where she did.

    The massage was a little odd. And the guy was rough on me. My back and shoulders are still hurting me.
    stephs_3_kidz replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    Happy birthday, Guard! And 48 is not old!
    Spankyrae replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    Happy birthday!
    MissCaptainKirk responded:
    So uh I replied to this a while ago but I was just reading through and saw that it didn't post! Gawrsh.

    Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY and i hope it was really really super great.

    I'm sorry that you're sad about getting older. But just think about it, the older you get, the more lives you have touched and the more people you've encouraged/helped/shown love or friendship to. That's something to be proud of!
    3point14 responded:
    Happy Birthday, Guard!

    I confess that I'm really, really jealous of my peers that don't have to work full-time and go to college. I'm trying really hard to get my money good enough to get into the program I want, but it's just not seeming super likely. I'm getting really down on myself and fear once I get into the program I want my whole life will fall apart because I simply cannot go to school fulltime and work a fulltime job and a part-time job and somehow maintain a decent GPA and afford to eat. I'm just a little depressed and resentful that every f***ing thing in my life feels like such a struggle.

    I don't mind making consistent effort, I just feel like with all the effort in the world, I'll never really get solidly ahead. It's depressing to be STILL making up for my parents' debt and having the feeling that I'll be doing this forever. I know logically that I won't, but seeing through the next five years is getting hard.

    I confess I just feel crappy lately. I don't love my job, I feel alienated from a lot of my friends, and I can't really depend on my parents to be consistently supportive. My boss still treats me like I'm the 19 year old she hired, and I feel like I'll never get the respect I deserve because I used to be a clich? punk rock drunk.

    I've stopped talking to an AWFUL "friend" of mine who treated me like garbage, says lies about me and told everyone about what I went through last month. I respectfully told her her life was too chaotic for me to be involved with now, and that I know she told people about my (as she called it) "procedure", and that she was lying saying I was trying to cheat on M with her drunkenly. She basically raked me over coals for saying that, saying that my "normal life" now is BS and that deep down I'll always be a substance-abusing,cheat. I know it was her just being mean because I was calling her out, but that description is still stuck in my head. I've worked really hard to improve who and how I am. But it still doesn't mean anything. I've slowed down a lot on my booze/pot intake, and my other friends are supportive, but don't understand.

    I just feel really insecure and crappy lately. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I want to quit my job and find something better, but deep down I feel like I don't deserve "good", nevermind "better". The only good thing in my life was celebrating my two year anniversary with M on Saturday. He's the only source of unconditional support I have, and we've been incredibly happy lately.

    Guard, be happy about being 50: successful, married, father to a happy daughter who loves you. You've got a lot goin' for ya. Keep it up.
    Spankyrae replied to 3point14's response:
    Wow. Glad you let go of that "friend" because that was something crappy she did, telling your business like that. I try not to get into name calling, but what a c u next Tuesday. I hope things get better for you.

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