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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
can you beleive what my wife said???
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Anon_79663 posted:
so the other day my wife tells me that "i never offer to take the kids into Daycare so she can sleep in" I feel that i do take the kids in when i can. We live out in the sticks a little when i take them in, it is about an hour later than usual b/c it wouldnt make sence for me to drive and take them fight traffic and get back home wold take me about an hour. there is not way for me to do that come home and get ready for work. She comes back and says that if i take them in an hour later, it set her behind on what she needs to do. but that usually is to sleep. I take them in when i can and i pick them up when i can. Sorry if this post seems so blunt but i just cant beleive my wife told me that. I was really upset when she told me that. As i was thinking, on the wkends, no matter what i am the one that wakes up with the kids and gets breakfast for them and watch tv with them. not once in 4 yrs has she ever "offered" to let me sleep in except on fathers day. full disclosure my wife works part time maybe 20 hrs a wk and the kids are in daycare full time. am i being to sensitive?
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MissCaptainKirk responded:
I don't have kids so I can't help out entirely but I'm just wondering, does your wife have trouble sleeping or insomnia? Maybe she's exhausted in the morning because she can't sleep at night.
 
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stephs_3_kidz responded:
If I worked part time, *maybe* 20 hours a week I'd be darned if my kids would be in daycare full time. Just saying.

If she's sleeping in on weekends and the kids aren't there all day when she IS home what's she complaining about? And she wants you to leave earlier than you need to just to get the kids out of her hair for that extra hour??

It sounds like she's trying to shirk her responsibilities as a parent and doesn't want to be bothered with the kids. Sorry. I don't think you're overreacting or being too sensitive, my husband wouldn't be very happy if I acted like that.
 
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queston responded:
I agree with Steph--everything you told us just doesn't add up in my mind.

Sometimes it's just amazing how differently two people can see the same reality. I had this happen with my wife a couple nights ago. She said "I would come to bed with you if you asked me to." (I go to bed about 30-45 minutes before she does, typically, because I have to be up an hour earlier than she does.)

I have told her many times that I wished she would come to bed with me sometimes. And she has made it extremely clear that that is not on her radar. So I can't even imagine how, in her world, the problem is simply that I haven't asked her.
 
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Anon_79663 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
Wow well you guys have really given me something to chew on and think about. Steph u have respond to a number of my post and u have given some pretty food advice to not only me but others as well. I think if u readnmynpost and thought about some key points u might put 2and2 together. And u might have a few chioce words for me as well if u figured out my post. Not playing games here I just don't want to give too much info away. Sometimes. Guys are my only sense of "self medication". My wife doesn't suffer from insomnia that I know of. In fact she falls asleep pretty quick and always seems to be tired. We have talked about getting some blood work done to find out why she is always tired but nothing has been done yet. We both have been working out quite a bit lately and her energy level has increased and when she hurt her knee she went within wks to see a specialist and did the same on her arm on 2 separate occasions. Yet it's been months and she hasn't taken this step to see what the root cause maybe.
 
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fcl replied to Anon_79663's response:
I have a friend who suffered from fatigue like your wife. It took sleep study to diagnose his sleep apnea. His body wasn't getting any rest because, due to his apnea, it was mini-waking every few minutes and never getting the deep sleep that repairs your body. Please note that he was convinced that he'd slept all night because that's what it seemed like to him (and to any outside observers). The fact that his vbody wasn't getting any real rest made him fall asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

She needs to discuss her constant tiredness with her doctor - it could save her life (and your marriage). If she won't make an appointment, do it for her.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


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