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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
How Do You Overcome Stress Situation?
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FaFaTy posted:
Just wanna share my experience and want to ask some tips on what to do.. My Gf just died last month which i loved so much we've been together for almost 5 years and it's really hard to accept the reality.. Most of the time i can't think clearly it's like my brain is always blank, sometimes all the happy memories we had would just appear in my mind of nowhere that makes me deeply depressed.
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tlkittycat1968 responded:
I'm sorry for your loss.

It's only been a month so don't worry about not being over her death. It can take many months to get over the death of someone close to you. You may want to talk to a therapist of some sort or find a bereavement group to joing.
 
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An_240941 responded:
You allow yourself to grieve & don't fight your emotions while continuing to do the best you can to push through your day. But hey, if your sad & the laundry doesn't get done, don't worry about it...tomorrow will come & it can get done then. Be patient hun & take it one day at a time, don't put high expectations on yourself & don't let anyone tell you to move on before you're ready. If you fall into too dark of a place, seek help & don't let it get too far...watch for the signs of serious depression vs. grief. You will be ok in time, & I'm sure she would want you to be & would want you to continue to be happy in life. I obviously don't know her, but I can only assume she loved you just as much. Never let that go. Remember, those memories are the gifts she left you with, treasure them as painful as it may be treasure them.
 
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FaFaTy replied to An_240941's response:
Tnx for the advice
 
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FaFaTy replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
one of the hardest part to accept is that she is only 24 years of age and im was not ready to accept that to happen to her with no symptoms at all i just a period of 2 days that God took her from me.
 
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tlkittycat1968 replied to FaFaTy's response:
No matter how old they are, it's hard to accept but it is especially hard when they are younger with no apparant health problems.

Again, I encourage you to either join a bereavement group or talk to a therapist of some sort.
 
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An_240941 replied to FaFaTy's response:
Well I can only hope it helps. I found this poem & it made me think of your situation. I hope it helps.


 
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An_240941 replied to An_240941's response:
 
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FaFaTy replied to An_240941's response:
where's the poem? i can't view it.

what do you think i should do about the text messages she sent me before that is stored in my phone do i have to delete it or not?
 
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RoseLynn02 replied to FaFaTy's response:
You can't see either of them? I wonder why, they show on my computer. Huh? I'll see if I can fix it later. As far as the texts, well that's up to you. If you're ready to delete them then do so & if you're not then don't. Or you could always forward them to your e-mail & print them out & make a scrap book of the two of you & put them in the scrap book.It would probably be a good way to hold onto the physical symbols of your memories with her, as well as honor her memory, & probably help you in your grieving process.
 
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FaFaTy replied to RoseLynn02's response:
thank's for the good idea i'll follow ur advice il try to write down all the messages she sent me till the last day of her life.
 
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SamGreen19 replied to FaFaTy's response:
Im sorry you lost her.
Take time to grieve, it is never easy to lose someone you love. Your reactions are completely understandable. as they say, time heals all wounds. take one day at a time.It may take months or years for you to recover but hey, nobody can tell you when to move on. i just wish that you may find peace in your heart.
 
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RoseLynn02 replied to FaFaTy's response:
Your welcome. I hope it helps. At the very least it will give you something to honor her by creating & something to use to physically look back at the good times. Memories are great & no one can take them from you, but sometimes the pictures & precise words...I don't know, they seem to help in times when the memory alone isn't doing it. I guess it just brings things across in our minds in a different way. I hope you're doing well & just remember one day at a time ok.
 
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FaFaTy replied to RoseLynn02's response:
here's what im gonna do i'll be waiting for our 5th aniversary on june 25 and ill go to the cemetery and there i will read all the messages that is left in my cellphone and delete it by that time and im gonna let her go by that time and speak to her that she will always remain in my heart forever and i will let her go to continue with my and life and face the reality that i'm not gonna see her again in this lifetime.
 
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RoseLynn02 replied to FaFaTy's response:
Don't force yourself to be ready to let go. Just take it one day at a time & it will happen on its own. You can't just set a date & expect the grieving & pain to go away because you say so. I don't think you need to live your life & be happy in it, but that doesn't mean you need to forget her either. I'm glad you say you will always keep her in your heart. That's where she belongs.


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