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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Need some advice.
An_244459 posted:
I need some advice. Should I divorce my husband? He hates me but I still want to be with him.
I been trying to crack his shell but he is one hard nut.
fcl responded:
Why would you want to be with someone who hates you? You can't force someone to love you.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
LittleFrany responded:
The problem is I sort of deserve it, but I've been trying to make it up to him.
darlyn05 responded:
Going from the 'limited' information you have written, I'd have to agree with FCL.
An_244459 replied to darlyn05's response:
Well I had an affair and he found out about it. He was suspicious for a long time but I kept denying it.

Anyway he wanted a divorce but after talking to his lawyer and finding out I'd likely get the kids, house, child support and alimony he didn't go through with it.

So now he says he can't afford to leave and he feels stuck.

I've been trying really hard to make it up to him but he just doesn't seem to be interested.
queston replied to An_244459's response:
Your posts seem conspicuously devoid of any mention of love, of remorse on your part, and so on.

From the limited information you've provided, it sounds to me like this marriage is done and that you (plural) just need to bite the financial bullet and move on.

Have you done, or suggested, any type of counseling? Actually repairing this marriage would take a lot of work and dedication to making it happen, which I don't really sense is in the cards.

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