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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
6 months no Sex or Kissing? What's Going On?
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An_244520 posted:
I have been in a 2 year relationship with a man I love dearly. The first 6 months of the relationship was amazing....he was emotionally and physically open. He expressed his feelings to me first and we had sex 3-4x a week. And although I realize after the honeymoon period is over things change, our sex life dramatically changed after 6 months. We went for 6 months having little to no sex....to the last 6 months, no sex, no kissing, no anything. I have tried everything to giving him freedom, to seducing him to trying to not talking about it, to talking about it and he never wants to talk about it. Whenever I bring up the subject he just says "I don't know and don't want to talk it" and leaves it at that. It's become awkward and sad yet he wants to hang out all the time and cuddle. I guess I'd like to see if anyone has been in the same situation and what caused yours and what did you? I want to be supportive and understanding, but I feel like if something doesn't change, one of us will do something to hurt the other person over time.
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fcl responded:
How old is he? Could he be experiencing ED and be too embarrassed to talk about it? If so, then it's time he saw his urologist for a check up. This is a common problem and there are solutions.

Have you pointed out that saying he doesn't know and doesn't want to talk about it is basically saying that he doesn't care AT ALL about your feelings?

OTOH, if he really doesn't want to do anything about it well ... it's only been 2 years. Imagine yourself in ten years time still in a sexless relationship with no intimacy at all. Do you want to spend your life living with a room-mate or a lover?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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amy7878 replied to fcl's response:
completely agree
 
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3point14 responded:
When you describe your relationship as "awkward" and "sad", and your BF is doing nothing to improve that and doesn't even want to discuss it...Well, what's worth sticking around for?

What are you being supportive and understanding OF? You're just being understanding and supportive of that fact that you're dissatisfied and he's doing nothing about it.

It sounds like you've done everything you're comfortable doing. Maybe suggest he see a doctor to rule out any physical/mental issues?


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