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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
My step-kids mom passed away last night at about 10 pm.
It was a long, bitter fight to the end for her, and she has been an inspiration to all that have known her.
The kids are all doing remarkably well. Although telling them this news was the hardest thing that Steve or myself have ever done. (When my ex husband was killed, the coroner told our daughter, and she told the rest of us. So I never actually had to say those words out loud to my kids.)
We are in that surreal twilight that comes after these types of events. Everyone feeling like there is something that should be done, but not knowing what that might be.
I appreciate the support and sage advice that I have gotten on this board for 2 years now related to this matter. You are all wonderful cyber friends. Thank you.
Just thought I would give you a little mini-update.
First, I appreciate all of the kind words and concern from this board. You are all wonderful souls.
It has been a hectic couple of weeks as you can imagine. The service for the kids mom was last Saturday. I was worried it would be heartwrenching, personal service, full of friends and family sharing memories and emotions. It wasn't. There were 3 pastors there, and they all basically gave church sermons, utilizing her strength against adversity as their platform, but it wasn't what you would call personal. I was glad of that for the kids sake. That would have been hard to stand.
The kids are doing remarkably well. Honestly, there actual lives didn't change that much. They have lived with us full time and only seen their mom about once a week for a couple of hours since Aug when she got so ill. So logistically, there lives are pretty much the same.
My oldest step daughter knew it was coming, and had already made peace with it. She is greatful that her mom is no longer in pain. She is good about keeping me posted on her emotional status, and asking for what she needs emotionally, and I value that.
The two younger kids seem to be doing well also. I have been in close contact with the school and both teachers and the guidance councelor have shared that they are doing fine at school as well. I am watching for signs of something going on under the surface, but they seem like there own sweet selves. Playing with friends, doing their homework, eating and sleeping well.
They all impress me with there resilency. The middle daughter put it really well to her brother and sister when she said, "Mom would be sad if we were sad all of the time." And how true that is. It would break her heart to think that they couldn't be happy, so I think they are really honoring her by working hard to re-claim a new sort of normal in there lives.
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