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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Intimacy is gone for now
An_247476 posted:
We recently within 3 months had a miscarriage, and since then his sex drive is low. We talked, and he tells me due to stress of finding a job, not being able to provide, he has lost his sex drive. He tells me it has nothing to do with me, he feels like life is failing him, as he is trying to regroup after being unemployed. I, however try to understand it all, I really do, but I have desires, and after having a miscarriage, I want some fulfillment. He doesn't even touch me, I don't know what to do, where to go for help.....I am looking for help, to understand, should i be understanding and stand by him, or think negative, which we all know our minds start to wonder, "is there something he is not telling me".
fcl responded:
Encourage him to get screened for depression. It sounds as if you are coping with your miscarriage but that he may not be. For some men, a miscarriages is an overwhelmingly distressing experience and, as they are not the ones carrying the baby, people tend to ignore that. Their pain often goes unnoticed. Besides this, being unemployed can be highly stressful and the stress doesn't just vanish into thin air when you find a job. Be patient and be kind to him.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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