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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
i don't know where to start
threeboysandahusband posted:
new here,
i am going to go to counsling with my husdand to try and work on our marriage, its really skrwed up, thinking its not fixable, my husband beat me about three years ( i was cheating ) he didn't know at the time he beat me. after being separated for three months, we got back together. worked things out and i got pregnant with my third son. now my youngest is 2 and i want out, or do i ? i do beacuse i can't stand my husband. he is selfish,has anger issues,and is not effectionet at all!!!! i am a very sexual person. i try to talk to him but he is very angery at anything i say. ( that may be an issue in our relationship )about three weeks ago i cheated on him with the same person i was with before. he found out. he was angery but said he understood and thought it was kinda hot, that i went out and found what i needed. THATS SICK !!!! IN MY BOOK. now what i have three boys age 2,4,6
3point14 responded:
Do you really want your kids growing up thinking that physical abuse is understandable? Do you want your kids to see two people who don't seem to love each other, are angry all the time and betray each other as the norm?

What's keeping you there?
threeboysandahusband replied to 3point14's response:
mostly my kids, I am scared for them, can do without, but what will happened to my poor kids, plus if we all leave my husdand will have to pay child and support and will have nothing left maybe 800 a month to live on (him). whats better staying for the kids or leaving for me
3point14 replied to threeboysandahusband's response:
You're giving your kids a bad childhood by exposing them to a man that beats you. And what do you think is stopping him from beating them? If he's willing to hit his wife, what makes his kids safe?

The biggest gift to your children would be giving them a chance at a childhood that doesn't involve a father who hits their mother and a mother that doesn't cheat on their father.

Check out local churches for battered women's housing or safe houses to go to. Your children can go with you. As for possible child support, it is what it is. If he has to struggle, it'll be his problem, not yours. He hits you, sexually degrades you, and you can't communicate with each other. You'd be a happier person and better mother without having to deal with that.
gardensparrow responded:
I just caught your post and I just wanted to hop on here and say that I'm praying for you as decide what the future holds for you and your husband. Also, as 3point14 said, it's never ok to allow physical abuse to continue in a marriage. So, I really hope you'll reach out for some help and not allow this cycle to continue. And, counseling or a church is a great place to start. During my time at Focus on the Family I've also heard of an organization called Life Skills International that helps women in your shoes. So, you may want to check out their website or give them a call (303-340-0598). Focus would also be happy to offer you some free counseling or referrals (1-855-771-HELP) if that would ever be helpful. Just a suggestion. Well, I really hope you'll find the strength to do what's right for your family.
MissCaptainKirk responded:
I don't have much advice to offer, but I just want you to know I'm praying for you and i hope you're able to get out of this awful situation.

Stay strong!

<3 luck
threeboysandahusband replied to MissCaptainKirk's response:
is it really that awful? this is what i ask myself, he has only ever layed a hand on me once. can he change his anger? the last 3 weeks he has seemed to. will counsling work? o am i to far gone?
fcl replied to threeboysandahusband's response:
Beating you once is once too often.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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