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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    Guidance please
    avatar
    Wantha17 posted:
    I have been divorced since July. I am over my ex-husband. I have moved on and am in love with another man that loves me and I love him. The problem that I am having is that my ex cheated on me and when he confessed, he said no more lies. When we divorced, he got back with the cow that he cheated on me with. I wanted to talk to her to confront the situation and he advised me that he lied and cheated again with her while we were married still. I was under the assumption that she was just hanging around, but it was him that was keeping her around. My kids are constantly being cared for by her when they are with him. How do I get passed the hatred that they have caused me. I love my fiancee with all my heart, but he feels that I still want my ex. My ex makes me sick. I can't stand to be around her or him and it shows. I am just trying to keep from losing my fiancee. Any guidance is appreciated...hope I am clear on this. LOL
    Reply
     
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    1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on responded:
    Wantha,

    I am sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you. As for her caring for your children when they are with him/her, is sort of unavoidable, do you think? No matter who is dating, they will be in your kids life in some fashion. If they have caused you such "hatred" i would say that you might not be as over him as you think. You seem to be very happy with your new man, you should just worry about the things that you can control. You are no longer with your ex, so he is going to date whom ever he wants, whether you like them or not. As for your fiancee, what is his reasoning for thinking your still into your ex? You do have children together so, like it or not, your still going to have some contact with each other until the kids are grown. Your fiancee needs to understand that and you two probably need to have a conversation about that situation and your feelings towards your fiancee. Sadly men can be insecure, when it comes to dealing with exes...we are competitive by nature Has he been with you when you have interacted with your ex? If he hasnt maybe he would accompany you on one of those encounters, so he could see your distain for him and the dicotomy of the relationship.

    Best of luck!

    IC
     
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    darlyn05 responded:
    It's a very common feeling you're having concerning your ex's 'other/new' SO caring for and interacting with your children. It should pass as time goes on. And by no means does this insinuate that you are not over your ex. To me it demonstrates your morals, values and standards concerning cheating.
     
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    butterfly19790424 responded:
    I'm in your shoes. My ex cheated on me and married the woman he cheated on me with. We have a 4yr old daughter and every other weekend, she is the one that takes care of her.

    Its going to take time for those wounds to heal. Its been 3 yrs since my ex left and I cannot stand to see them. The feelings of hatred are much less, but they are still there. Hopefully, one day they will be completely gone.
    A true friend is someone who knows you're
    a good egg even if you're a little cracked


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