Wife turns it on and off like a switch
queston posted:
We have sex less frequently than I'd like, but the quality has improved over the last several months. It's frustrating, though, that sex, and really romance in general, appear to be completely off her radar for days at a time. And then, out of the blue, it's bedtime and she decides we should "do it." No making out, no undressing each other (or for each other), no buildup throughout the day, no snuggling on the couch, no sexy talk, no anticipation.

Really, its like sex and romance are never remotely on her mind, except for about once a week at bedtime.

Even if it were consistent, like every Friday night, then I could at least enjoy the anticipation. I've told her all of this, and she says that she'll try to be open to the way I'd like things to be, but it never really happens.

When I try to initiate, I just get a lot of rejection (or, worse yet, she agrees but is obviously not all that into it.) So, I've pretty-much just resigned myself to waiting until she's ready.

Ideas? We are in our late 40s and have been married 25 years. Through most of our marriage her libido has been equal to or greater than mine, but this has reversed drastically in the last several years.
darlyn05 responded:
Hey Queston! I think we've covered all the possible reasons for this happening. And I know the two of you have read books concerning this and other issues. Maybe if the two of you revisit or refresh yourselves with those books again it may bring comfort.