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Feeling down about myself/sex life.....
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StacyVaughn posted:
I'm only 20. I'm seven months pregnant and engaged to the father, who is 30. When we were dating, he had a cold sore on his lip and had gone down on me, giving me type 1 genital herpes. So combined with pregnancy hormones, and going through my third break out (after not havin want issues with it for a year+), I'm a bit emotional. There have been certain aspects of me and my finances sex life I was unhappy with before hand, and I'm feeling even more terrible about it all. I have been unhappy with the lack of foreplay, about him not ever going down on me. I have brought it up so many times, make sure I'm shaven, showered, etc, and he won't do it. I asked if he just doesn't like to, smell, taste, etc. he claims there is no reason, and he loves to do it. There have been times, talking about our pasts, and he'll for some reason, tell me about how one he went down on a girl- so on and so forth. Or one time he came from eating a girl out. I know he is older, and doesn't have a sex drive like he did as a teenager at those times, but it makes me feel really bad to hear about how other girls got want I want so bad, and I can't get him to... I recently finally stopped giving him head, but of course that doesn't really phase him, cause again he's older and doesn't care that much about sex. But I'm at my sexual peek, dammit! And now, here I have an std that won't ever go away I feel like I'm being punished. I grew up too quick, and started having sex at a young age, so now I'm paying the price. I'm in love with someone who won't please me the way I want (even though he used to) and herpes. To top it all off, even though I'm very excited about having a baby, I'm 10 pounds too heavy. With ruined boobs. And stretch marks. I don't feel sexy at all anymore. I still want sex but when I think about it, actually coming down to it, I just get embarrassed and upset with the way I look.

I feel like I just want to give up on sex and everything to do with it, all together. I'm tired of trying to improve me and my finances sex life, and him not changing. I'm tired of having to hate the way I look and be uncomfortable to have sex. I hate not knowing when or if I'm contagious and will infect my partner.... Sigh* sorry for the rant.. Just been really upset the last couple days
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