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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    Gr8 Husband
    Gr8me posted:
    I was wondering how to enhance my sexual relationship with my wife. We are currently very overwhelmed with a few life stressors and as a result we very rarely have sex. On a second note when I feel very overwhelmed I turn towards a "quick porn" viewing to "take care of business." I do that as an outlet. I would rather do something with my wife. Any ideas or suggestions, besides the basic ideas of caressing her and stuff like that?
    An_241258 responded:
    Just a few things that popped into mind -

    Maybe arrange a date night you can look forward to. Book a dinner (and if you can't afford a lot it can be something like a picnic or a cafe). Dress up nicely and this will give you something romantic, followed by a nice encounter later on hopefully.

    Another few little tips include making a couple rules for the bedroom such as no talking as soon as you enter the room, and trying to set the mood a bit with candles, lighting. This may not make it easier for just one night, but you can try it for a week and let things go as you are feeling more into it.

    Another thing is taking a bath or shower together. Not only is it relaxing, cleansing but you can wash each other and just spend some intimate time together.

    I can understand porn being a quick fix, but speaking as a girl we do need a bit of build up/foreplay and it is hard when theres lots of other things going on, and stresses. It will take both of you wanting to work on it, and try to find a way to bring the sex back. All the best!
    Gr8me replied to An_241258's response:
    Thanks An_..., Beautiful response. We just started date nights a couple of weeks ago. The problem with that is that our date is at dinner time and I have an evening job afterward. But... What you said about creating a moment like with candles - that I can do. I'm going to put some thought and action into that.
    tlkittycat1968 replied to Gr8me's response:
    Since you have an evening job, how bout a weekend lunch someplace you've never been before.
    Danjo replied to Gr8me's response:
    You know, intamacy doesn't have to be elaborate and take up tons of time. Get 10- 30 minutes (how ever much you can spare) of shared time where you have no distractions. Sit face to face, look into eachothers eyes. Don't talk, laugh, smile but don't look away and don't talk. Touch eachother in every place except the obvious places one would touch. after a few minutes, get down to business. Make it quick if thats all the time you can spare.

    Any spare moment you have together is an opportunity to be intimate. The key is to show affection in the moments you do not expect intamacy, and she will respond better to your advances.
    Gr8me replied to Danjo's response:
    Thanks Danjo. I appreciate your looking "out of the box." This usually really helps me.

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