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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
boyfriend of 12 years or roommate?
An_249496 posted:
relationship was good first 5 years. just seems to me when i developed a thyroid problem and went from 125lbs. to 170lbs. everything went downhill. he says not the weight but a fatitude. we been thruogh alot. my sister passed years ago and i took custody of her daughter who was 7 now 17 plus my 2 kids ages 19 and 22. then my boyfriends daughter is 17. very blended family but thought was goin okay til like i said weight gain. in 12 years together i only turned him down for sex couple times which is reversed for me. he's only abliged couple times when i asked. big issue is this we have sex maybe once a month or less. i would love to have it everyday but when i ask there's almost always a reason why he can't. says he knows his part will not work. can a guy really tell that if he doesnt even try not to mention i later have found he watched porn and pleased himself which seems to be often.i have never felt so ugly, unloved, fat, used and depressed in all my life. am i wrong in thinking this relationship is over?
queston responded:
Was the sex always this infrequent, or is this a more recent development?

For whatever reason, he seems to have substituted porn and masturbation for partnered sex. It could be because of performance issues, or because being in a multiple teenager household is so stressful (I know, I've been there), or because he's no longer sexually attracted to you.

I think I know the answer to this, but is he aware that you would like to have sex more often? (I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation, but if you're doing that while your partner's sexual needs are unmet, then there is.)

How is the relationship outside of the bedroom?
grimrider responded:
Hang in there lady. Im sorry to hear with everything go on the way you feel. A relationship shouldnt continue for the sake of settling(JMO)Live life to the fullest to make YOU happy. You have more than enough support around from your kids.

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