Couples Coping Support Group

I found out my husband of 8 years had been cheating by phone records in May of this year. I asked him to move out, we then started counseling to reconcile and he ended affair. Things didn't progress quickly as I had so much anger at his betrayal, I trusted him completely! I went out of state to visit family with our kids dd (2) and ds(4) to get my head straight. When I returned he asked for a divorce because he thought I'd never be able to forgive him and that our relationship would not be healthy as a result. He said he had decided while I was gone and had begun dating OW..no real relationship, just rebound, but they had become intimate. We discussed things and decided once again to try to put the marriage back together. He ended things with OW and we went back to counseling. Got screened for all stds after about 6 weeks and we both came back negative for all. Things were beginning to progress in the relationship,we became intimate again and began "dating" through counseling . I found out my husband has likely been suffering from Bipolar 2 and was misdiagnosed as depression. This was a contributing factors to relationship issues leading up to affair. About 6 weeks later, DS had what looked like a pimple on the shaft of his penis. I insisted that he have it checked out. Dr. said probably minor irritation due to allergy, but did swab and blood work for herpes to be sure. Swab was negative, but bloodwork was positive for HSV2! This has been devastating, like reliving the betrayal all over again. We have used protection since reconciling, but condoms are not 100%. DH denies any OW and Dr. says that test may not have picked up on virus at the time we were tested (6 weeks post exposure) some people take up to 12 weeks to develop antibodies. I am awaiting my test results but they have been delayed due to holidays, I will not find out until next week, even if (-) then, I will have to continue to retest at 12-16 weeks. I'm trying to figure out what this means for my marriage. We've both been trying to work through our issues and with his Bipolar it is hard enough. I don't know if he will ever be able to commit completely emotionally to this marriage due to his disorder. He has agreed to try medication again now he is properly diagnosed. If he has passed herpes to me, I will have to deal with a constant reminder of his infidelity and if not, I will have to decide if I am willing to risk my health to continue to work on a marriage with issues that I have little control over due to the unpredictability of his disorder. So stressed and confused! I love my husband and I want my family to be whole again! I don't even know what to think anymore! I haven't told any friends or family as they are very protective of me and most don't understand the nature of Bipolar disorder. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!