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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Sister in law and brother driving me crazy need advice
Anon_136372 posted:
My sister in law and brother have neen together for 5 years both very selfish individuals married now for 3 years knew how they were before getting married now have two kids both 2 and under and the paarents always put there needs above the kids. They constantly fight about stupid things especially when they are out of cigarettes or can't go anywhere when they want etc. My sister in law keeps taking off with the kids when things get bad and then comes back her and my brother always seem to be on the verge of divorce don't know how to help them anymore my concern is for the kids her family are crazy and abusive and my brother can't seem to handle the kids on his own I have been trying to help them stay together and work things out for years and before them I was dealing with my parents in same type situation to the point where I don't seem to have any time for myself due to constantly running at everyones beck and call never been able to tell people NO want to keep my niece and nephew close but don't want them to have same childhood as I had any advice would be much appreciated thanks in advance for input.
darlyn05 responded:
Have you mentioned to either one of them the affect this is having on the children(subtle/indiscretely-perhaps using your childhood as an example)?
gardendj2007 replied to darlyn05's response:
Yes I have and they just get offended or beligerent as well as telling me I don't have a say because i have never had children i don't know what i am talking about and should just mind my own business which is very hard when they are constantly aasking for my help in regards to the kids or coming over to my aapt and banging on my door until i answer even if i don't want to they are just annoying my main concern is the kids.i just want them to have a safe and happy life.
fcl replied to gardendj2007's response:
Next time they come after you jsut smile and say that it's not your business and close the door. Really, this is not your business and they should be mature enough to deal with their marital problems by themselves. Don't let them suck you into this. Because the day when they finally DO break up for good they're going to blame it ALL on you. It's time they got counselling. It is not up to you to keep them together - that's their job. You can't ensure the kind of childhood the kids have unless they are yours and these are not. Set barriers, keep your distance. Be a good sister/SIL by being cordial and keeping in touch, maybe taking your nieces/nephews out for the day, babysitting etc. if you like but their marital problems are THEIRS and it's time they owned them.
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