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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Does therapy help for addiction?
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An_250085 posted:
While recovering from breast cancer, now into my 4th session of chemo, find out my BF has been communicating with a couple of people of his past but at the same time, with sexual content and pictures. Seriously?? I was shocked. He's been nothing but nurturing, supportive and all around, there for me. Like a Blessing in disguise. We had been dating 4 mos., before diagnosed. But now this? When I confronted him, he admitted he had a problem. He tried to end those communications, he says, just didn't know how. He mentioned he'd get help. How good is therapy for this, does it work? I miss him tremendously.
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darlyn05 responded:
Are you referring to a sexual addiction?
 
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darlyn05 responded:
Are you referring to a sexual addiction?
 
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4foxy11 responded:
Hi! Thank you for responding...Yes, sexual but without the physical contact, it's via emails...said, its been a while and wasn't sure how he got caught up, that it was natural and didn't think twice about responding or what his response was to these people. It is/was an easy habit, until now that he was caught that he ended those communications. Said he was going to seek help and that's why I ask, does therapy/counseling help for these types of issues? Thank you and look forward to any and all input.
 
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on responded:
4Foxy11,

First off, sorry to hear about your breast cancer, keep fighting and stay strong!

As for your BF, has he ever done anything like this before? or is this just a new thing? If he has had this type of behavior before it could be there is an addiction. If this is a new thing, it could be nothing. As with any type of addiction, it is up to the person, if they want to get better. I know he isnt smoking crack or shooting dope, but a serious sexual addiction can be devistating to a family/relationship.

If he hasnt shown this type of a behavior before, it could just be that he might be a little bit alone sexually. Given your situation, this is by no means your fault. Having seen my father go thru chemo, i know how hard it can be and energy comes at a premium. My hopes are that after you are thru with your treatments and you get your strength back, you guys with both be able to show each other how much you've missed one another.

As for him ending those relationships, its quite simple. if they are people he has known from the past, odds are they know your guys situation. All he has to say is that its not fair to you, to have these types of conversations and leave it at that. If they want to be there for him as a support system thats great. But he needs to set a clear boundary. He seems like he is a good man, as you said he is there for you and is caring, etc.

But it never does hurt to talk so someone about these types of things and yes therapy does help. You just have to be willing to put it all out there and open yourself up...which for most men is not an easy thing to do, so if it is serious it could take time. As with any addiction there is an underlying issue, that drives that addiction. Once the addict figures that out, then they can begin to heal those wounds and move forward.

I wish you the best of luck in your battle, stay strong, there are millions of survivors out there cheering for you!

Best of luck with your BF hopefully you two can get this straightened out!

IC


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