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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Inlaws cant respect our decision about our baby
newmom47 posted:
Hi there.
My husband and I are 4 months pregnant and we have decided not to get our baby baptised and his parents are compleatly against the idea. They both are going on about how there kids were baptized and how the rest of the family will talk about us and consider us bad parents and it will make there whole family look bad. We have discussed our disision with them and they just choose not to accept it and I cant stand talking about it with them anymore. His mother called me today crying saying our baby will be going to hell and how we will be talked about in there family community and we have just given up talking to them about it but they just keep going on and on about it everytime we see them. His mother corners me in a room with just the two of us and says " why cant you just do it for me " and i have just had enough of them and its putting a strain on my husband and I because we cant seem to make them understand. I have told them its OUR baby not yours and thats that theres nothing else to talk about.
They both get very angery and it turns into a yelling match between them and my husband.

now im worried if they are this discruntal about our decision now how will they act when the baby is so stressed about this i dont understand why they cant just STOP talking about it and accept out decision.
Has anyone else had to go through this or have any advise on what else to do.
Thank you .
tlkittycat1968 responded:
Let them know the topic is closed for discussion and if they continue to bring it up, tell them you'll either leave or hang up and then do it.
rohvannyn responded:
It might help if you explained that religion is a personal choice and no one should be forced to be baptized before they have the ability to say yes or no. Baptism is an important decision for many and you are giving your baby the gift of choice.
gd9900 responded:
Stick to your guns and keep letting them know you've made your decision and you agree to disagree. Its not their choice to make but if you keep telling them in those words it may come across as though it is someone's choice, possibly theirs. People who are controlling and/or manipulative often use your own words against you to get what they want. For whatever reason, she sees your decision as a direct reflection on her. That perspective completely falls on her and is a false reality. The mother seems to be acting in the way a two year old does when told "no". Seems like it would be good practice for you as an upcoming parent to establish consequences for this behavior and practice consistency. Hopefully they will back off before things escalate into unnecessary drama. Good luck - and keep us posted.

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