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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Verbal abuse
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An_250274 posted:
I have been with my husband for nearly 22 years, married for 15 this year. And for the past 2 yrs he has gotten progressively meaner. I think it's stress, that is causing it, but I am not sure if it actually is verbal abuse or if I am just over sensitive and need to suck it up. We have 3 young kids, ages 7, 5 and 2. Two of them are special needs. He has a big family and I have none. We are not near any family.

He works, and I stay home, that was both of our choices long before we had kids. We live in a small, falling apart home, which he blames me for the home choice.

He calls me stupid, idiot, a bad mom (I do not think I am that bad of a mom, they are very close to me, and very affectionate to me, but not so much to him)

He calls e house and all it's belongings his, that he is the breadwinner, so they are his, and I am treated like a guest. He has said to me, "it's no wonder your family abandoned you" when in reality, I have a tiny family, of cousins and aunts I never see. Mom abandonded me at 9, didn't know dad till I was in my30's and both parents are now dead.

He never ever cooks or helps with any cleaning, and only helps with the kids if he is in a good mood, which isn't very often. When I ask for help with the kids or discipline, I am told to "mother up" and insulted more.

Our sex life is decent, but he says it sucks cause I don't initiate, but that is because I am miserable with the way he treats me.

I can't leave him cause I have no money, no where to go, no family and he tells me the kids are his, and he will take the, from me and give them a new mother. He has said he will do what he has to, even if he has to lie to the judge. His family and friend would never believe he acts like this cause he acts super nice in front of them.

He has never hit me, but screams at me in front of the kids, and has called me every name and swear in the book in front of them.

Please help... Thanks...
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tlkittycat1968 responded:
You are absolutely, positively, without any doubt being abused. Abuse is not just physical but mental, verbal, and financial.

http://www.thehotline.org/

The above is a domestic abuse hotline. Call them and they will help you with getting a plan together to leave if that's what you really want. You are not helpless. Even if you have no family and friends, there is help out there for you.
 
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darlyn05 responded:
Ditto to what tlkittycat1968 replied. You can also call your local "211" number for more local resources. At the very least I hope you'll speak with someone, they do offer counseling in some areas to help with the inner turmoil. You can even briefly talk with that person to help get your bearings back. Has there been a tragic event or something that happened in the last 2 yrs that could've brought this on?

It appears our 'Resource' section has been renovated.
Domestic and Child Abuse
I'm guessing he has other relationship difficulties, whether in his past, present, and certainly in his future.


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