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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Newly married and in need of advice
Gunner88 posted:
My husband and I have been together 3 years and recently married in Dec. he left for the navy last month and it has been hard but I recently found out that he had been emailing other women he met online. We have had this problem in the past and each time I confronted him about he, he would tell me he doesn't know why he does it but he knows that he loves me more then anything and wants to change. I have forgiven him for his past mistakes because I felt like it was a real problem with his insecurities about himself see he was fired from his job in Aug and from what I understand he started emailing girls in Oct but stopped in Nov and Dec and started talking to them again in Jan before he left for basic training. I don't want to give up on my marriage and I do want to try marriage counseling case I believe he has a lot of issues he needs to work threw. My question is has anyone ever gone threw anything similar to my situation? Any advice would be great! I know my husband loves me because he wouldn't have married me if this wasn't something he really wanted, I just think he has an addiction to attention from women. Any advice would be helpful! Thank you
stevesmw responded:
I'm someone who never received much attention from women and didn't date very much except for a few years prior to getting married. The attraction to getting attention from women must be very strong. I would consider it myself except I would be worried about a stalker and don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. That is also an attraction to some people. I've been married for almost 35 years and I have no friends. The only interaction with people other than with my wife is at work. I spend fair amount of time posting on bulletin boards related to my hobbies and interests. There's a connection even if it isn't face to face.

Many women consider these emails like cheating. Unless it goes past emails, it could be viewed as entertainment.

The biggest issue is that he knows it upsets you and continues to do it. He needs to get help with his issues.Marriage counseling isn't going to help. Enlisting seems to be a radical decision to get a job, but with the economy the way it is I can understand. I hope things work out for you.

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