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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Leave or not to leave
Luvpink80 posted:
So I have been with my SO for 4years and its been a roller coaster ride, she has dated others I have dated others yet end up back together. Here's my ? I love her so much yet I'm so tires of going through the same ol same ol! Like first of all I have a high libido she does not I like to have nice things she could care less. I don't really loooove her family I mean I can tolerate them however I don't wanna see them if I don't have to! She and I have broke up several times and I'm just tired of trying and I have met someone now and I'm def willing to call it quits now. Everything I address it that it's no longer working she cries and so I don't leave. Would I be wrong to just leave while she's at work?
darlyn05 responded:
From what you have written, it sounds as though you are neglecting your responsibility of half of the roller coaster. You say you love her so much, and later in the post you say you've met someone new. It also sounds that the two of you are living together. So there will be more to consider other than you packing your cloths and leaving. Those things you shouldn't take it upon yourself to make the sole decision about.

Yes, I think it would be wrong for you to leave while she is at work. Make up your mind 'for good'. If you still want to leave 'for good', then maybe write down some notes as to why so you stay on track with the conversation, and follow through. I'm sure all of this is tearing her apart, and I'm suspicious of exactly who is steering the roller coaster.
itsashayduh replied to darlyn05's response:
I 100% agree with Darlyn.
There is two parts to this story. You both need to sit down and talk about how you BOTH are feeling about the relationship. I dont think that it is okya to be "seeing" someone else while still in a relationship unless you are open to both of them

Please just be true to yourself and make sure you are not just bored with the relationship. Becuase if you love her, you would try.
Luvpink80 replied to itsashayduh's response:
I totally understand what y'all are saying, but I still feel meh about the situation omgosh and what's worse is last night we went and watched that Tyler Perry movie Temptations and man did I relate! I won't spoil it for y'all in case y'all haven't seen it and want to! Let me just say omgosh it will give you a different outlook on relationships! I felt like that movie was so trying to tell me something! Ironically enough I had planned on trying to leave Sunday and go and try and pursue my relationship with this other girl. Now I'm reconsidering and I don't know how to break it off with her it's like she's trying to push me just like old dude in the movie! Any advice?
itsashayduh replied to Luvpink80's response:
Please just do yourself a favor and take a break from relationships.
Take a step back and look at your relationship. You really should, it gives people insight on them selves and the relationships that you are in.
If you miss her and want to stay with her, you will feel that even if you are not with her. And if you feel at peace and calm with the whole thing, than it was not ment to be.
Just stop playing with her heart and your emotions
queston replied to itsashayduh's response:
Sure, take a break.

But don't just to her about what you're feeling, about what this means. (For example, are you planning to see other people during this "break?" Are you expecting that she will or will not do the same?)

Especially if you are living together, there are things to be worked out.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to take a break--but do it right, and with regard for her and her needs.

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