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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
We've been married 10years with 3 kids(9,8,7). My husband is an only child who's father left when he was 6months old & at age 6-7 his single mother got sick with chronic fatigue, bi-polar, depression, fibromyalgia. He took care of her & himself even after step-dad came into their lives.. When his mom would get sick or in hospital he still had to care of because step-dad on weekends went/goes to bar. My husband about age 15 came home from school & find mom unresponsive with empty bottle of sleeping pills. At about age 16-17 husband & step dad got into argument & husband kept quite while step-dad yell & got more mad for him not answering then his mom smacked a ceramic vase over her son's head. Around that time frame husband began to look at porn & do phone sex calls & he never had a girlfriend until after he graduated. She cheated on him in his truck & he caught them & after began calls & chats & porn's again. Him & I met a little over a year later. He told me right away about his mom being sick & that if we would have plans or I was sick he would be taken care of her because step-dad wouldn't. The first time I got after a month of knowing each other his mom was sick too & step-dad was at bar, but my husband stayed with me even when I tried to force him to leave. We moved into together after a few months & he was not doing any of the sexual habits. We were planning to get married over the summer & 2 weeks before we got married found out we were having a baby. By end of of pregnancy he started to look at pics online: girls in stockings & hiding it from me. Went in spurts of this until about Christmas but just 3-4 weeks ago found out. He would at times get out of bed & go to computer & get off, 1 night I walked in on. We had a lot of money & me serious health issues about 4-5 years into the marriage. I over the past 2 years have gotten much better! Just moved away form his mom; my mom gave us her house 2 months ago. Been working on ground for pool since June9th, trying to unpack, he works third 6 days a week. He has been thrilled to move near my family, which is extremely large. Over the past 4 years living near his mom & now with the move has grown very distant from her, could careless to see or talk to her. Every time she called it involved money and how step-dad was threatening to divorce her because of something we did.This time of the looking at stuff I was ready to leave. He for first time cried over what he had done, said he had decided he never wants to do it again & needs me to help him. Since things have been wonderful with us, talking & we have worked out me wearing stockings to help fulfill his need. But problem; right after everything of me finding out, when we had sex i noticed him getting semi limp during sex but getting it back so i didn't say anything, then 2weeks on anniversary his mom called about money & 3days later we had time alone & for no reason i was up until 4am crying, when woke up had sex & in middle; it went totally limp. later he broke down& anxiety attack. We've been having sex once maybe 2 times a day with only 2-3 episodes of slight softness, regaining hardness w/out it interfering. Now we are curious if the limpness could be stress & guilt induced? We have began to wonder if his start of porn stemmed from mom since vase? Every time I got really sick he did the stuff & now I'm better & last time he tried to look at pics he could only get semi-hard.
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