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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
desprate need of help with low-T boyfriend
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An_253309 posted:
help me understand.... my boyfriend of just under a year has just been diagnosed with Low - T and the doctors are getting started on the shots or the creme to help with that... i am really trying to be supportive and understand what is going on in his head.... he has completely lost all interest in sex.. i can undress in from of him put on a sexy nighty and it doesnt even get a second glance from him... i try to get him to talk to me to make things better but he just tells me i am doing nothing wrong... but i feel more like his best friend and roommate then his girlfriend and lover.. nothing worse then to be with the one you love but still feel all alone

any suggestions on things i can do?
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fcl responded:
All you can do is give it time. His libido loss is directly related to his low T. It has nothing to do with you, nothing at all. Give his treatment time to take effect and you should see a big improvement.

Just be patient and try not to badger him for sex - it will only make him feel worse than he probably already does. Once the meds kick in he'll be a whole new man.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
FCL is right. You can help him by supporting him through his treatments. Due to the low T, he has no drive and no desire for sex. IT'S NOT YOU. Let him be your best friend and roommate. My gf is my best friend and roommate. That is what makes it better for her and me. When you bf's meds kick in, you'll have what you want and need. Just support him now and if need to take your problems in hand. (self stimulation) Like FCL stated, he feels bad enough already, but he's doing something about it and it's for you. Good Luck
 
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brysangel2012 replied to fcl's response:
thank you for your reply... i think the thing i am having the most problem with is that i am a big snuggler... and i cant get him to hold me anymore.. i can handle myself on the sex.. but it is hard to hold yourself... is that part of it too? please tell me that will come back too
 
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brysangel2012 replied to sluggo45692's response:
thank you for your reply... i think the thing i am having the most problem with is that i am a big snuggler... and i cant get him to hold me anymore.. i can handle myself on the sex.. but it is hard to hold yourself... is that part of it too? please tell me that will come back too
 
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tlkittycat1968 replied to brysangel2012's response:
He may not want to snuggle because he thinks it might lead to and expectation of sex. Reassure him that you just want to snuggle with no expectations of sex.
Happily married to DH since 2003. Two kids: Paul (5) and Kylee (3).


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