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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
self esteem issues (husband is very fit)
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An_253578 posted:
Hi, i am new here but i have been struggling with self esteem issues for awhile now. My husband who is 49 years old is a very attractive and fit, and muscular (which i love by the way) I, on the other hand, am a bit overweight due to being on the Depo shot (birth control) for years (which one of the side effects is weight gain) i am not on it anymore but cannot seem to get rid of any weight. We both go to the gym everyday I do an intense workout that includes some weight lifting (free weights to the machines) also cardio for about 45 min to an hour DAILY!! I also have been watching what i eat and have changed a lot of my eating habits but cannot lose any weight. when i first met my husband i was 115 lbs (5'3) now im at 160 lbs. He has worked very hard at his body and is constantly reminding me of how good he looks, i am constantly telling him how great he looks too i am very proud of him but i cant help but feel sad, depressed, and frustrated he never compliments me even though i know he loves me but i cant help feeling like he's not attracted to me how can i get him to compliment me more? I would like to feel desirable too........
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sluggo45692 responded:
You didn't say how long you've been married, but talk to you husband. If he's constantly reminding you how good "he" looks, he's the one with self esteem issues.
A woman has a much harder time lossing weight, due to nature. A woman stores fat for child birth and milk production. Depo shots are the worst for side effects, in my opinion. My ex-wife loss sex drive and gained weight. It lasted for years after she was off the shot. She's an ex due to when she got her sex drive back, it went to someone else.
If your wanting to lose weight, get with a professional. You can try, but if your not lossing the weight , get some help. If you husband is 49, I'm guessing your near his age. At 5'3", 160 is not a bad weight. Weight loss at middle age is hard. I'm 50 and have a 3rd shift job. I just accept me for me. Hard to change size when you are up all night and sleep during the day. I still have to get family time in.
If he never compliments you, then he's an arse. A man should alway compliment and tell his wife/gf/partner that he loves them in words and actions. There has to be more to a man then looks and body. He has to have heart. Let him know you want a little consideration. DON'T be suttle, DON'T give him hints. Tell him. I'm a man and I don't take hints well. Most men are fixer. You tell a man what is wrong & he will try like crazy to fix it. Especially his woman's heart. Good Luck
 
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georgiagail replied to whimpect's response:
Be aware that this last poster is SPAM.

And your husband is an idiot by the way.

Gail


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