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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Ive sought help for this through friends and it's come to no prevail. My wife recently left me and started dating another man. Shes 13 weeks pregnant. We have suffered through 4 miscarriages until this one. None made 9 weeks. My wife was sexually abused while in High School and never sought help. Ive known her for 9 years and have had a secret relationship for 8 of those years. We married 2 years ago and at first we were happy. Then 6 months ago she cheated on me after a very serious wreck. I was angry and dissapointed and hurt but I buried it and moved on. Then she got pregnant for the fifth time. At first we were happy then out of no where she starts acting strange bout the 9th week. She starts to consider a seperation for a while and then she says that just wants me to get a job and I told her I understood and she gave me a week. We went home and everything was ok. In the morning everything is still ok until she gets to work. A man up there she sees through the window is there and she gets out and doesnt say anything else. I went to put applications in and when I came back she tells me she doesnt want to be with me and that she needed time to sleep over it and that her feelings had changed. I was hysterical and I cried and I left to my parents home. Three days later I find out shes dating this man and has been since the day after I left. This man has only been working with her for two weeks and came from out of town. For a period of time I kept in contact with friends that she visted with this man. They have told me that her apperance says shes unhappy with this man but stays with him. I cane to live with one of these friends to get on my feet and as I was asleep one night she came to visit. This man was with her. My friends told me that all her conversations started with "Me and Michael". She was saying this in front of this man. I made an attempt to try to get my wife back with a legal lawyer/councelor to see if we can work out our marriage. During the conversation my wife cried and she made it quite apperant that she still loved me. I got on my knees in front of her and appologized for not holding a job and for being manic at times. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and it seemed that she was going to come back to me however we were very shocked by what she said. She sucked up her tears and said "Be there for the baby, thats my answer." I was in shock including the people around us. She gave no reason why and she left. I am struggling to understand through this heartbreak because none of this makes sense. I am worried for her and my unborn child because the man she is seeing does not have a job no license no vehicle and is living with his parents while on Probation in two different states. Hes very controlling of her I'm worried about her. I do noy want to give up on this marriage and Im desperate to understand this situation and how to get my wife back. People around say she doesnt care about me anymore but I dont believe that. She sat during that councel meeting for us for two hours. I would assume if you really didn't care why stay? Why even cry? I feel the hormones play a part in this somehow but not sure how. Shes been in many bad relationships until this one. Ive pulled up videos of us together from recent weeks and she seems very happy. The change was almost spontaneously over night. Ive read similar stories but none fitting this one. I dont see this being just an affair because if sex was the only reason then why date? The man shes with has no standing and can be considered dangerous. I feel that somehow this pregnancy and the past miscarriages abd the her molestation from when she was younger all have some play with this. I dont want a divorce. I still love her very much. I need help understanding possible causes for this.
I apologize, I realize that I wasn't very specific. The secret relationship was a mutual crush between us both. We never dated but we were at the same time lover's. We were seperated for three months and now were getting divorced. When I wrote this I was hoping to find cause for her behavior but unfortunately I found my answers the hard way. I won her back and I had her for almost another full year but over time I realized I was living a lie. Were getting divorced now I'm okay with it now. Thanks for commenting guys!
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