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Problems agreeing on vacation
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queston posted:
My wife kindof out of the blue last night got an idea for a short family vacation over Christmas time which is totally unappealling to me. (I don't even need to tell her that, she stated right up front "I'm sure you're not interested in this at all.")

We have 3 kids, late teens/early 20s, and she wants to invite their significant others, which would make this a trip for up to seven people. With airfare, hotels, etc, that could get really pricey. (She wants to go to Vegas, which, to me, is a strange place to take "kids" who aren't all 21.)

We *never* take expensive trips like this, so this is really kind of out of the blue. We do technically have the money, but we had earmarked it for other purposes (kitchen remodel is the big one).

I guess I'm mostly a little hurt that she would push to spend a lot of money on a trip she's fully aware does not interest me at all. I know that I would never do that to her.

Anyone had similar issues?
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tmlmtlrl responded:
Hi Question! I gotta say that knowing you for so long I don't see this as out of character for your wife to do something like this to you.

However to step past that and your hurt feelings... part of a negotiation is a counter offer. Come up with something more appealing for the whole family and possibly cheaper. Going with so many people I suggest looking for package deals (sometimes all inclusive is worth it) and/or talking with a travel agent.

Speaking as a mother of two and the oldest just went off to college (even tho he's only 17) sometimes it gets really scary for me to think of what the future holds and not having family time with my kids. I really enjoy their company and I miss my oldest son hanging out with me. On a side note: I don't miss him sitting on my couch being lazy..

Just saying that this time with family is not only irreplaceable but a forever memory and that's nicer than a new kitchen if you can swing it. You'll get your kitchen because you want it just maybe not when you want it.

We're trying to think of somewhere to travel for Christmas too. We like to find somewhere WARM to go though!! Lol Happy hunting and good luck!
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
 
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queston replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
Yeah--I did propose a couple alternatives. It appears that the idea has died a natural death to to incompatibility of our two older kids' schedules.

My wife and daughter are now looking at going to Cancun. I'd actually be totally OK with that. We are moving my elderly mother to our town in a few weeks, and if they took off for several days, it'd give me some time to spend with my mom helping her get settled in.

I go backpacking without my wife a few times a year (because she is not interested in backpacking), so I'd have no problem with her taking a trip she'd enjoy without me.
 
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tmlmtlrl replied to queston's response:
Glad to hear it all worked out
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
 
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queston replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
It did, but it still bothers me that, when we disagree, she clearly sees my differing preference as an obstacle (standing in the way of what she wants) to be overcome, rather than as something to be honored and reconciled with her own.


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