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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
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shyone198778 posted:
for yrs ive enjoyed sex but never climaxed but twice and ever since then my sex drive has stopped where I don't want it because I cant get there and has put a problem with relationships like the one im in ....in need of advice any suggestions or is there just something wrong ...SERIOUS PROB
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billnjenn responded:
You need more advice than you are likely to get here from far more trained people. Questions you need to prepare to answer if you seek professional advice.
Do you climax when you pleasure yourself?
Assuming you still do have sex in your relationship, do you still enjoy the act once it starts?
By sex drive having stopped do you mean you don't think about or initiate sex and avoid it when possible? Or don't get any pleasure from it when you participate by yourself or with another(s)?
Are you taking medications that might contribute to your problem? Are you physically injured?
Make an effort to solve your issues, bring yourself to climax. Was it enjoyable? What is not happening with a partner that prevents that enjoyment. If you could get your partner(s) to bring you to as enjoyable a climax as you do yourself would your sex drive still be stopped?
Armed with the answers to those questions you can either solve your own problems or find an expert who will help.
The good news is your problems are very likely solvable. First step is wanting to solve them.
 
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bigred53 responded:
I suggest you go to www.dodsonandross.com. It is a wonderful site and you may learn a lot from reading there. I know I have.

Michelle
 
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shyone198778 replied to bigred53's response:
ty I will look it up
 
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shyone198778 replied to billnjenn's response:
I enjoy sex but but I climax by myself but cant seem to overcome the shyness I think to tell someone how or what I want ,,,but think u for the advice
 
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bigred53 replied to shyone198778's response:
Shyone I'm no expert but I'm very experienced. Any man who cares about you will want to know how to help you climax. Most men I know are turned on by watching a woman pleasure herself.
The easiest thing for you to do would be to rub your clitoris while having intercourse with your boyfriend or husband (if you're married). The first time you do that will be the scariest for you. There is nothing wrong about it.

Any kind of good relationship needs communication. I love it when a man asks me what I like and need to climax. I also love it when a man tells me what he likes too.

I have a feeling that you are pretty young. With me as I got older it got easier for me to tell or demonstrate what I like. I feel that I am responsible for my own orgasm. I don't expect my partner to 'make' me climax. It sure is nice to have a helping hand or tongue. Seventy to eighty percent of women can't climax by penetration alone. We need clitoral stimulation too. Additionally it takes most women 20 to 30 minutes of foreplay and clitoral stimulation to orgasm if not longer. Don't worry about taking too long. You will only stress yourself out.

The best advice I can give you is to explore your own body and discover what turns you on and gets you to climax.

Good luck and I wish you a lifetime of fabulous orgasms.

Michelle
 
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stevesmw replied to shyone198778's response:
A typical man enjoys frequent sex. The best way to get it is to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for his partner.
Every woman responds differently and a man needs her to provide direction to what will get it done rather than guessing.
He needs to make her know that he enjoys taking direction to give her pleasure. Not asking is not caring.
He should also pay attention to her response to what he does and not get preoccupied with his own pleasure. Making love, allows for feeling things outside solo sex. Something like a back rub or foot massage can provide an unexpected sexual response.
 
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billnjenn replied to shyone198778's response:
If you can climax by yourself, you can with a partner.

Almost all guys want you to cum and would gladly have you show, or advise them. Now you know your partner and if he cares about you or has some issues that make you think he does not want your help.

Being shy can be tough to overcome, but knowing your partner will likely be as happy about pleasing you as you are he did, might just help you get a little more open.


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