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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    The act isn't enough, he wants me to love it
    An_256493 posted:
    My husband wants me to love to give him oral sex. I want to make him happy and I am perfectly willing to ignore the fact that cum makes me want to puke . . . the problem is that he NEEDS me to LOVE it and to LOVE cum . . . If I'm willing to do the act, why isn't that good enough? How can I change how I feel about things or how my body reacts? I feel at a lost.
    jacqui_olliver responded:
    Hi An,

    Does your husband know that him cumming in your mouth makes you feel sick?

    Most men don't realize that when they ejaculate into their partner's mouth it feels like the equivalent force of a volcano erupting! This has the same effect as putting your fingers down your throat, it makes you retch. I am sure that if he were to be in your position on the receiving end, his body would react in a similar way.

    Explain to him how much you love the act of taking him in your mouth (be specific with your words) but that the force of the cum exploding down your throat makes your body dry retch and makes you feel like you are going to vomit.

    Then say: I know how important this is to you, but I just can't stop my body from reacting this way. What do you think we should do?

    By adding the last sentence, it puts the ball back in your husband's court so he can then feel good about solving your combined problem - which then makes him feel like your hero.
    sluggo45692 responded:
    Hi An,

    I concur with Jacqui. He should feel honored that you will even provide this for him. I know from experience, if my partner doesn't like to do something, it will stop if you keep pissing her off. Of course, my ex wife thought sex was a chore also. Forget the about a BJ.
    As for you LOVING him finishing in your mouth, don't try to change for him. Flat out tell him, your doing it for him. Your enjoyment and what you love is the satifaction he get when he finishs there.
    I know when I'm with my partner and want to finish there, she'll do it for me. I feel blessed she did it for me. I also know she likes it, because it's for me. Not because she's hot and heavy for a mouthfull. I wish a lot of men would understand that and I'm a guy. It really makes me upset when a "man" gets his and expects the woman should be excited with his leavings.

    Good Luck
    bigred53 replied to sluggo45692's response:
    I understand how you feel. I wonder how much his watching of porn has influenced his desire.

    What you eat can have a lot to do with how bodily fluids taste. Pineapple will help his semen taste better.

    One other suggestion I have is for him to have a good mouthful of his own cum to see if he loves it as much as he wants you to.

    As the others have said good communication is very important.

    gentle1954 responded:
    hi an
    how ever the best way is talking to him as others have said but horrify him by making a trick . if he forces u to eat his cum then u pretend to faint or passout .
    An_255813 replied to gentle1954's response:
    just puke it up on him he won't force you again. In most states it is called rape
    bigred53 replied to An_255813's response:
    An_255813, she is not being forced. She doesn't like to swallow and he wants her to. I don't consider that rape.

    An_256614 replied to bigred53's response:
    if she doesn't want to do it and still does it it is rape
    Anon_3432 responded:
    I think, as a man, that one should tell his wife/gf that he is getting close to ej. And, keep telling her. It is her call if she wants to have the ej in the mouth. Be considerate!!!!
    00000162 replied to Anon_3432's response:
    I agree with Anon. What you need to ask yourself is;
    1) Do you not like the entire at of BJ or just the swallowing?
    2) The thing you need to understand is why are you doing it?
    3) Does he go down on you? especially before you go down on him? this is a major factor because once you are worked up it makes a big difference on the out come.

    I can tell you there was a time I my life when I was younger that I didn't like any of it I was jut doing it to make him happy. Then I came into my sexuality. It all changed. I now love sex it is just a dame shame that now I have a partner with ED and doesn't even want to try so solve it now all my sex is with myself.

    Be thankful you are not in my situation as it really is not a great place to be and I don't wish this on any one. It is a very depressing life to live.

    Again, once he spends the time on getting you fully primed all kinds of things can happen for him. This is what he needs to be aware of.

    try this, spend time on just the BJ a few times with no swallowing "after you have been worked up "and just before you come start the BJ and he tells you when he is going to come so you can pull off . This will give you the time to work on the BJ act its self and give you the time to actually enjoy it.
    Once you get to the point were you are enjoying it and he is still telling you when he is ready to cum one of those times you will most likely take it all and trust me it will not be like any other time when it was forced on you. This will work especially well if he actually goes down on you to get you worked up.
    Girl once you get in touch with your sexuality it is amazing when you are both in sink with each other. it is like taking your intimacy to the next level and you will both start heading to the bedroom more often.

    hope this helps!!!
    happy easter..............
    thesensualist responded:
    To be honest both of you could use some attitude shifting.

    I recommend to YOU to approach giving head as an exploration. Get in the moment, don't do it to please him... just stop. Do it because you want to, even if it means less often. Then only do what you enjoy doing. Get into a comfortable position. Explore it, the texture that taste and sensations and fully absorb yourself in the moment and enjoy it's responses. If you don't like come in your mouth don't have it come in your mouth.

    I recommend to HIM to get over his fantasy. If he wants you to LOVE giving head, then allow you to do it in a way that is enjoyable to you. Your enjoyment of it will increase over time as you do it on your terms, as opposed to in a role of "fantasy fulfillment" for him. You may or may not end up loving him coming in your mouth, but as you do it on your terms and again, with the approach of exploring his body and enjoying the sensations and textures and for only as long as you are comfortable... you will enjoy it more.

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