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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Dealing with my husband getting another woman pregnant
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gandj2014 posted:
I've been married 4 years and we have a son almost 2 years old and I'm 6 months pregnant. My husband got another woman pregnant and the child is also almost 2. I recently found out about this other child and have stood by my husband hoping we can face this together and get through it. The other woman has harrassed us about everything except the child. I'm just at a lost of how much I can handle. He has decided to leave me and our soon to be two kids to try to get to know this other child. I can not sit home while I know he is at her house and that is why he chose to leave in order to get to know the child. I don't blame him for wanting to be in his life, but he has to respect my boundaries since I am already so far out of my comfort zone. I need support on how to get through a difficult time and come out a better person for experiencing it. It hurts but I have faith the pain cannot last forever, and once it's gone.. I'll still love my husband and value our marriage and family.
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An_256614 responded:
Honey get smart. You know of this one How many others are there this child(he is not a man) that you are so wet for ain't worth what comes out of my ass every morn. Divorce his sorry ass and find a real man you will stand with you!!!
 
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depressedone13 responded:
I am so sorry for you, this is something horrible you are having to deal with through your pregnancy! If he respected you he would bring the other child to your home to get to know him. You should be a part of this other kids life as well ,as you are a step mother. If you truly feel your husband is being loyal to you then you should stick with him. He obviously has cheated on you once , if you are having problems with trust , you should leave. Don't waste your life in something that is wasting your life away. There is a man out there for you that would not cheat on you. No man that truly loves his wife could do something like that! And don't feel you need to stay with the man because of the kids, if your not happy the kids won't be either.
 
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tmlmtlrl responded:
You recently found out about the other child.. how long has he known about this other child?

I don't know how it makes any sense to anyone involved how leaving one family to be with the other sounds reasonable?

I think he's doing this because he knows (just like your last statement says) that you are gonna stick around and deal with his BS no matter what. He's going to continue to hurt you and disrespect you and your children BECAUSE HE CAN. I know that's pathetic but it's just how some people are.

You want to move forward and learn and grow from this experience then I would personally get him out of his comfort zone and divorce him. I would stop talking to him unless he was exercising his parenting time. I wouldn't listen to anything he has to say about himself, his other kid, or your relationship. That would be the easiest way to move forward (not that that's exactly easy to do).

I'm really sorry you have to go through this right now. Better to figure it out now and move on. Don't waste the next ten years of your life dealing with these ups and downs of when he feels like being in your life or theirs.

Remember -- You teach people how to treat you! Right now you're showing him it's alright to treat you like this but loving him and standing by him and waiting for him...it's not ok.

Good Luck
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
 
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tmlmtlrl replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
The fact that the other woman has harassed you about everything except the other child makes it seem like she knew that you weren't supposed to know about the kid and went along with it. Which also implies that he's been doing a lot more lying and deceiving than you might want to admit.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.


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