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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
my husbands sex drive
maleekson posted:
My husbands sex drive is always different from when his around because we don't live together...and its takes forever for him to cum..pls I need your advise .
stevesmw responded:
Does he please you at some point when making love?
Are you just trying to get it over with?

If the answer to the these questions is no, tell him that you are feeling discomfort and finish him off with your hands.

As a man, I would like it to go on a long time if it feels good, isn't strenuous and my partner is ok with it.

Taking a long time can mean one of two things; he is really enjoying it or he has a difficult time orgasming. That can either be related to how he masturbates or a health issue.
sluggo45692 responded:
If you don't live together, then his sex drive isn't going to be in groove with yours. I work 3rd shift and my drive is different than my gf, because we don't see each other enough.
If he has a high drive and takes problem in hand a lot, it will make him take a long time to complete with a partner.
My question is are you complaining it takes so long because your frustrated or he's frustrated?
If it's your frustrated, have him arouse you and you cum then let him masturbate and finish with/on/in you.
If he's frustrated, have him stop masturbating a couple of days before he's with you. He won't last as long.

Good Luck
jacqui_olliver responded:
Are you able to orgasm during intercourse? When a woman is unable to orgasm, sex becomes more of a chore than a pleasure - and becomes more torturous the longer a man lasts - and any amount of time seems like forever.

It is also challenging for a man when his woman isn't orgasmic, because he becomes worried about his ability to fulfil her - and this incorrect focus makes him unable to ejaculate.

If that's not the case and sex is generally fulfilling for you, then it's likely he isn't focusing correctly - he needs to switch focus between the action of strong, hard thrusts - and enjoying the feelings in his penis, to be able to ejaculate.
Specialized Solutions for Permanently Solving Sex Problems
maleekson replied to stevesmw's response:
Thank you so much...this would really help
maleekson replied to sluggo45692's response:
Thank you so much sluggo this means a lot to us...really appreciate your message.
maleekson replied to jacqui_olliver's response:
Thank you Olliver .the problem is we don't live together and we talk on the phone about the time we spent together and all of crazy and alone he feels being alone over there.... How he looks at my pictures and he matrubate ..CIA that's the only thing he does to keep him going and okay...and I do that to....
jacqui_olliver replied to maleekson's response:
Have you talked to your husband about this? It could be that he's making the most of being with you, to give him fuel for when you are apart. It could also be an issue of incorrect focus.

Having him stop masturbating a couple of days before seeing you can help BUT he still needs to focus correctly when it is time to ejaculate when he is with you, to actually be able to physically ejaculate.

This requires switching his attention between strong, hard, fast thrusts and the pure pleasure of the feelings in his penis. This is the kind of focus required to trigger the ejaculation program in his brain. If he continues to focus on you, it will be impossible for him to ejaculate.
Specialized Solutions for Permanently Solving Sex Problems

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