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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
39 years together but....
condor221 posted:
I've been with my male partner for 39 years, married him almost 6 years ago and have been very happy. Our wedding night was the last time we've had sex. He just lost interest in sex with me. I've talked to him repeatedly about it. I know he loves me and I him. We will never separate from each other. Would it be wrong to go out once in a while to get laid????
tlkittycat1968 responded:
If your partner agrees to this then no, it's not wrong. If he doesn't agree to it or even know about it then yes, it's wrong.

Some people will say it's wrong either way and that it's cheating but I feel if your partner knows and condones it, it's not cheating.
Happily married to DH since 2003. Two kids: Paul (6) and Kylee (4).
An_260979 responded:
Find out first why you are no longer having sex before just throwing different partners into the mix which will only create more chaos and stress for you. Also if after you do that and it does lead to other partners then why did you get married in the first place?
tlkittycat1968 replied to An_260979's response:
It works for some people. I used to know someone who was married and had a girlfriend. I'd met the girlfriend many times and the wife a few times.
Happily married to DH since 2003. Two kids: Paul (6) and Kylee (4).
rohvannyn responded:
Communicate. Only go out and find other partners if he's okay with it. Ask him why he doesn't want to have sex. Let him know your feelings, all of them. I've been in an open relationship and it worked because of communication and playing it safe.
queston responded:
It's possible that he is asexual or is not the sexual orientation that you/he thinks he is.

(You didn't say if you are male or female, so I'm being deliberately vague here in the interest of inclusivity.)

I know someone, for example, who is a bisexual male. He can and does feel romantic attraction to men, but is not really sexually attracted to them. This stuff can be complicated: romantic attraction usually coincides with sexual attraction, but not always.

I assume you have discussed all of this with him...what does he say?

What was your sexual relationship like before you got married?

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