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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Can a marriage be saved?
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An_258029 posted:
My husband of 20 years just had an affair. Is it even worth it to try to save our marriage? Have other people saved there's, and if so how?

Is it inevitable that he'll just cheat again?
Please help.
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georgiagail responded:
Yes, many have saved marriages that have been damaged by affairs. It's not easy and it often takes professional therapy to help the healing process.

It's important to remember that even with therapy the relationship will never be the same as it was before. It will be like having been injured severely; one may heal but there will be a scar left behind. You must question whether you can live with this scar.

If you cannot (or cannot live with the fear that he will cheat again..and therapy should help to reveal WHY the cheating was done in the first place) then end the marriage.

Gail
 
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An_258313 responded:
I am going through this as we speak, I found out my husband of 19 years was involved in a long term relationship almost 3 years ago. We have 4 children I took all the kids.. "Let the separation begin" He stopped seeing that young lady started dating someone new almost a year ago. I was very calm and held my composure through this entire situation. I opted to not ripple the waters with threats of divorce and child support. I told him to take the time he needed to find himself. Being that I wasn't nasty we developed a really good friendship. Leaving in separate spaces did us some good. My only request was that he refrain from fathering any children, that to me signifies the point of no return. This past April my husband finally realizes there is no one else in this world he would rather be with and spend time with... It took almost 3 years to figure that out.... I agreed to date him again and all was going great, we have never been so close and in tune with on another.. This past Sunday during our lunch date my husband looks me in my eyes and tells me the young lady he was dating is 20 weeks pregnant, as if I have not endured enough. so my replay is no..... bad behavior and poor judgment are bad habits to break.
 
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Anon_16867 responded:
if u want some good advice ...dont ask these ppl on here...the decision u make is the decision that u have too live with..no body knows what goes on behind closed doors in noones else house...do whats best for u...most men cheat cause they not getting what they want a home.it could be regular sex.oral sex..even now anal sex...could be u not what u used too be hen u 2 got married...we love too look at hot bodies these days and think i love too have some of that...after we get it we find out she was not all that


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