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This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
Hi I'm sort of new here and I have a question!!
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Anmar22 posted:

So a while ago I was trying to move our big dresser in our bedroom because I needed to plug something into the outlet that was hidden behind it. I was surprised to find 2 barbies dressed as prostitutes (complete with fishnet socks, thong underwear, and tiara). I took them out to show my husband what I found and he tried to act shocked and took one and threw it in the garbage. The other one I went and hid in my closet. Well, I know they're his, there's no other explanation. I'm not upset or anything I even joke about it with my friends at work. I just have never heard or seen anything like that. I guess I'm probably naive. I just want to know if this is a normal fantasy/fetish for guys or if I just have a weird husband.
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butterfly19790424 responded:
I just wanted to let you know, I read your post. I don't have any experience in this. Hopefully, someone can give you better advice.

Thinking about the doll, I cant help but chuckle at the image I have in my head.

I would be concerned if the doll was male and had that attire on, but since its a female I wouldn't worry too much about it.
A true friend is someone who knows you're a good egg even if you're a little cracked
 
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ImMe26 responded:
I personally think its weird..but again thats just my opinion...

Its a lil funny..just being honest, if it was my husband...I probably would be concerned, and id be just as confused as you as to why??...

Cant help but picture this grown man's man type guy, playng with barbies...lol...sitting indian-style on the floor...bad girl barbies in front of him..lol..lol..lol..lol..lol

I didnt help in any way and I hope you dont think im mean, but I cant help it..
Don't put off tomorrow, what you can accomplish today!! Procrastination is a KILLER!!--ME(26)SO(28)DD1(10yr)DD2(8yr)DS(2yr)SO's-DD(8yr)DS1(6yrs)DD(5yr)LUV THEM ALL ALWAYS WANTED A HUGE FAMILY
 
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queston responded:
That definitely seems a little bizarre, but let me ask you this--How do you think your husband would feel about you joking with your friends at work about this? It seems pretty personal to me--something he can't even discuss with you, for heaven's sake. If I were him I'd take that as a significant betrayal of trust.
 
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Anmar22 responded:
ImME, I didn't think you were being mean, it actually made me laugh. I was just as confused wondering why he would be playing with them in the first place.

queston, you're right is a personal issue. I'm very close to the people I work with we are with each other 12 hours a day. I know I used the word joking but I mostly went to them like I'm doing now to see if anyone has heard of something like this. We all just thought it was kind of humorous.
 
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IslandL replied to Anmar22's response:
I've never heard of anything like this either, but clearly your husband's embarassed to have been "caught" at it. Maybe it's the end of what would appear to be harmless fantasy?

Curious as to where he found "hooker" Barbie clothes.
When faced with a dilemma ask yourself, WWJBD... What Would Jimmy Buffet DO
 
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cjh1203 responded:
I think there are probably a lot of men who have doll fetishes, but you just don't hear about them.

Not to be mean, but I think it's terrible that you told anyone about it. That would be absolutely humiliating for your husband if he knew. It doesn't matter how close you are to your co-workers, there are some things that should remain private.

Anyway, I don't think this is a big deal -- just a quirky thing that probably isn't as rare as we think it is. There are much worse fetishes he could have.
 
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cjh1203 replied to cjh1203's response:
I googled "Barbie doll fetish" -- your husband apparently has lots of company.
 
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Anmar22 responded:
Maybe it is a private matter but don't we all come on here and share personal and private matters so we can listen to advice from other people? I don't see the difference between coming on here and sharing with complete strangers or going to friends that I trust to hear their feedback as well.

I guess I was just a little shocked to find something like that. I didn't even want to believe it because my husband doesn't seem like the type to have a weird fetish like that.

Thank you all again for you feedback again I was just curious if anyone else has heard of anything like this.
 
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cjh1203 replied to Anmar22's response:
We do share private things here, but none of us knows you or your husband. Your co-workers are going to repeat it to other people, and treat is as something really hilarious and your husband will be a big joke to them. From now on, he's always going to be the guy who dresses up Barbies in hooker outfits. He would be completely mortified to find out that you told other people about something that he's obviously extremely embarrassed about. I think that telling others about it shows a real lack of respect for your husband's feelings, even though what you found out was understandably shocking to you.

It would be comparable to you bending over and accidentally pooping your pants, and your husband having a laugh with all of his friends about it. Afterword, that's what people would think about whenever they saw you. Wouldn't you be humiliated? Out of respect for each other, some things just need to be kept between two people.
 
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queston replied to cjh1203's response:
I agree with cjh1203.

If we share things here, it is under an anonymous user name to other people we don't know in real life.

I've shared many gripes and frustrations here about my wife that I would never tell anyone IRL, for exactly the reason cjh1203 gave: they are real people who know her, and to tell them private things about my wife or my relationship with her would be a betrayal of trust.
 
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GuardSquealer responded:
We all have and do things that we would not want everyone around us to know about. I am not sure exactly how one would act out a sexual fantasy with a barbie doll. But there are worst things that he could be doing. He probably should be more careful where he hides his things.

I am sure you are feeling a little beat up about the telling your co-workers thing. Does he ever come around your co-workers? Think about how you would feel if you found out he was sharing very intimate sexual things about you with his co-workers. You could have maybe asked about it without telling them it was your husband. Maybe a friends or neighbor just to get input.
 
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Spankyrae responded:
I just think it's interesting that fishnets, thongs, and a tiara are equated with Barbie being a hooker. Maybe she just wanted to look sexy for Ken?

Jokes aside, I would curb the conversations with your co-workers of anything your spouse is embarassed of or is too personal to mention to others.

When it comes to fetishes, I don't think "is it normal" should really be a concern for you. It should just matter if you are ok with it being part of his life and your's. Fetishes and sexual tastes are all relative. What I consider too freaky for me may be "normal" to someone else. All that matters is how you & him feel about it.
 
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IslandL replied to Spankyrae's response:
What Spankyrae wrote is the crux of it. How do you feel about him playing with Barbie's? Is it something you feel requires deeper discussion with him? Or something you can look the other way on?
When faced with a dilemma ask yourself, WWJBD... What Would Jimmy Buffet DO
 
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Patrolling responded:
What do you know of his childhood?
Other than the clothes was there anything else different about the dolls (damage, places on the doll that are wore down). I know that sounds weird but I am used to looking for these things. I know I am little jaded with the profession I chose. So it might just be something innocent.

If he does not want to talk about you should not push it.


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