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So much potential!
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navcaru posted:
Where to begin,
My Fiancee and I have been together 8 years now. Originally we met on a beach when I was 15, I was on summer vacation with my family and he was practicing martial arts on the beach. It wasnt love at first site, we were too young, but we connected. Two years later he and I moved in together. Two years after that I was pregnant, he stood by me every step of the way. Two years into being parents we started really struggling. No idea what to do, we knew for sure our future included the both of us. Being so young and starting a family we agreed to strict terms of an open relationship.

Which believe it or not for 5 years worked beautifully, we were reconnected, knew what we wanted from the other and how to communicate our needs. We said it would end when we got married and so it will. Year 7 of our relationship we had a second child, and our lives started to settle, less partying, more concrete friendships, he proposed that summer. I said yes of course. The open relationship continued and as per usual no complaints, we decided it was time to move and build for our future together.

Before we did though, I suggested he have one last encounter, to either plan a full on encounter or a small series of multiple encounters within the time frame we had left before the big move. This worked wonderfully, until some things became suspicious, I knew his encounter and always we were 100% honest about everything, the only way it worked. But he started getting irritable at home, and only affectionate through texts or while at work.....He started making small comments about my choices in household routine and work that implied a comparison was occurring in his mind.

My intuition told me he was falling for her, I shrugged it off and told him to be honest with me if that every happened. I almost actually encouraged him leaving me, I dont know why, I cant explain it myself, I just said that he needs to be sure he WANTS to be with me instead of her. He came back late one night, and told me he was leaving me and the kids but still wanted to take care of me until I got on my feet. I fought hard and wouldnt let him go.

After a long talk he ended it with her and is staying here. He doesnt seem miserable, and has made wonderful strides towards trust and affection. He and I are a fantastic couple and we are both willing to make it work. But every time we talk I wonder to myself how focused is he on what im saying? Is he chatting with her too and not taking me seriously? I ask him and he is very honest and compassionate about all of it. But Im finding it difficult to go back to the way things were. I know I had my part to play in all this, we all did.

But I cant shake this feeling that I love him a whole lot, but it just doesnt feel the same and its terrifying. I know it takes time and Now that weve moved away from her and far enough away I might add. I know he wants to focus on us, so do I. But I just feel sooo inadequate. And theres so much to be done since weve moved.....I dont know what it is I really am asking, I guess im just happy theres a place I can post my little story. I love this man so much, hes a great father and we work well together, we both have a lot of work ahead to obtain the future we want, but together weve always been able to overcome. I just feel we need something but dont know what that might be.
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navcaru responded:
I forgot to add, Ive had some libido issues for a few years now and it always helped to have a mistress on stand by. Our relationship is solid, yes we fought, sometimes it felt as though we were battling. But always concluded with I love yous and taking steps to avoid making the same mistakes. Please dont't judge, the actions we took helped save us in a time we really were going to give up on something beautiful that we now share. It's very obviously over the open relationship, it's purpose fulfilled.


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