Crohns and Colitis Exchange

I have had some of those thoughts lately. I have REALLY been struggling with depression (to be addressed with my new PCP soon) and frustration. And it dawned on me that this disease is not going away. Bouts of remission is the best I can hope for. I had better come up with a better wat of dealing with all this, or my life is REALLY going to suck. All I am doing is driving off my friends and family.

I need to re-plan my life. Some of my goals may not happen, but I can come up with others. There are too many options out there.

And my kids are not sick. That means everything. I would rather be the one battling this "crappy" disease (hahaha). As long as they are happy and healthy, what do I have to complain about! Heck!! I HAVE KIDS!! And considering what this disease does, I need to remember to THANK MY LUCKY STARS. So many women can't have kids. I struggled to get mine here, but I have them!

Surgeries, hospital visits, lots of medications, proceedures, tests- all are going to be part of my life now. I need to figure out how to accept it, and not let it ruin what I d have.

Now, if I could stop accumulating massive debt everytime I need treatment! But, oh well. It is ONLY money. Money comes and goes.

Everyday right now is a challenge. Some days are better than others. But no matter what- "Tomrrow is a new day with no mistakes in it" (Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables.)

I can't say I feel overly good. I am no where near remission. But HOPEFULLY, HOPEFULLY I can get there.

steph

Yeah, I had a similar experience lately. As I was waiting in recovery after my last scope, they brought in a woman by ambulance. As she's pushed in on her bed, I see the big bag of white stuff and I think to myself "Oh you poor thing" because anyone who's been on TPN and Lipids automatically knows what that crap is. Come to find out, she's had a double lung transplant, a kidney transplant, and colon surgery because during her last colonoscopy, they perforated her previously healthy bowels. She was dealing with a possible obstruction, and though you could tell she was in a lot of pain, she was still in a seemingly good mood. Still smiling as she answered the nurse's questions. Made me think of how lucky I am.

I so believe in positive thinking. And Hannah, with all you've been through, you are always up! Kudos to you.

We can all drag ourselves down if we let it happen. So it's all up to the individual to go the positive way and realize we could be so much worse off.

Bless all of us.

Even though we have all gone thru our fair share of horror stories with this disease, we have all found each other. Some know others more than I do, but I feel blessed to be allowed in each and everyones life. I know my life has been blessed due to each one of you and your courage. Hannah, Mindy, and Stephanie I pray for you each day, I pray for us all each day. I hope we can all see the good that has come out of community. Thank y'all for letting me in.
Take good care,

Wow, sounds like we all battle with letting go of the old life and trying to find ways to accept the new life we have.

I've been listening to an old song called "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran...here are some of the lyrics...

"I won't cry for yesterday
There's an Ordinary World
Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way
In this Ordinary World
I will learn to survive...."

I listen to it over and over and try to make myself believe that eventually I will find peace in what IS and accept that what WAS is gone. Some days it is hard....but I know this is not going away.

We will all get there someday;)

Hugs to you all!
Mindy

What a GREAT post!!!! Since this IS a support board, I think more positive shoudl be stated than negtive a to not scare any newbies off. Some have it much worse than others but we all have it nonetheless. I LOVE this board. It has really helped me. I am flaring really bad right now and its hard to deal with msot days but I ahve to remember. I have 3 beautiful children and very supportive husband who needs me. My kids are Austin who turns 4 on May 4th and my twins Matthew and Alexis who turn 2 on June 9. I have to be there for them. Thanks for remindign me of that!!!!!!

Yes, this is a great site. I check in first thing every morning. It keeps me going. When I was first dx with UC, I was not aware of all that could occur. I had diarrhea and lost 30 lbs. in 3 months as a result of it. That was a good thing. But checking in here every morning educated me on my disease. Much more than my great GI doc. And he is really a good guy. This site tells you like it is from everyone's point of view. I so much appreciated that then, and even more so now.

Life give has given us great challanges that has tested our physical and mental abilities as an individual. Even though these challanges have to be conqured on your own, this forum has proven that we do not have to go at it by ourselves. I was put on a TPN for 7 month starting in the middle of 8th grade and into the summer months. It was one of my great challages I had to face expecially sense I loved to go swimming. Well, I found a small pool raft in the garage and inflated it, thew it in the pool, tossed my TPN back pack, which housed the pump and fluids, into the raft and pulled it along side me as I swam around in the pool. If I dwelled on the negative aspect of haveing the TPN, I would have let it restrict my activities and prevent me from what I love to do.
When life gives you a challange all one has to do is look at it from a different angle and transform it into something enjoyable. This forum as proven to have some of the best supporters I have seen and hope it continues as I have never had a place to look for support when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease back in '87 and it was rarely known of. I always look for and enjoy all your storys, questions and concerns.
As the saying goes, When life gives you lemons make lemon aid. As I say, not all lemon aid is sweet sometimes it needs some sugar.

Great post. Especially the lemon comment. Love it. That says it all. Thank you Jay.