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What can I do for my sister?
Anon_177415 posted:
Hi, guys.

My youngest sister is 12 and lives with my parents. She is 9 years younger than me. I'm married and so I don't live with her. But I try to see her often, and to text her a lot. She is often very sick and I worry about her constantly, especially lately.

I have IBS but I was tested for Chrons, and so my doctor told me about all the symptoms (I do not have all the symptoms and the test was negative). And then I did a lot of research about Chrons because my little sister has ALL of the symptoms.

I discussed this with my mother, but she refuses to take my sister to a doctor. They have very good medical insurance and I agreed to cover any extra costs. I am to the point of begging them to take her. Even if she doesn't have it, maybe they can figure out what's wrong. She is so malnourished and weak, and losing weight. It's breaking my heart.

I have another sister close to my age and growing up, no matter how sick we were, they ever let us go to the doctor. We were homeschooled, and my youngest sister is now being homeschooled, so no one ever knew we were sick. My mother is (in my and several others' opinion) a little bit crazy; and I say that with respect, because I know she just needs psychological help.

She's convinced that if she took my little sister to the doctor, that since she doesn't have any shot records that the doctor's office will call DCFS and have my little sister taken away. She thought the same thing when me and my middle sister were kids. I was always sick as a child, and they wouldn't take me to the doctor.

What do I do? DCFS wouldn't take my little sister away because she doesn't have shot records, right? It sounds kind of crazy. And I personally am in touch with the doctor who tested me for Chrons and I don't think this doctor would do that. But how do I convince my parents to take her? And even if she does have it, is there a treatment that will help her? Is there anything I can do to make her feel better? I'm so worried. I cry for my baby sister.

Please help. I don't know what to do. :_(
miserable_sob responded:
If you really believe your sister is a victim of child abuse, why not call the police?
hannahleigh89 responded:
Go get her and take her to the doctor yourself. Or call child protective services yourself.
Anon_177415 replied to hannahleigh89's response:
I wasn't saying she was a victim of child abuse. My parents have their reasons for not getting her medical attention, and I'm not her parent even if me and my middle sister pretty much raised her. I do NOT agree with my parents' decision. But I don't intend to call child protective services.

I just need to know 1st of all if my parents really would get in trouble if they brought her to a doctor (or let me bring her)? I mean I don't think so. Once I was emancipated and went to a doctor on my own, they never said anything about my parents. 2ndly if they do bring her to a doctor, or let me bring her, what kind of treatments or medicine would they be able to give her to make it better?
I guess I'm just wondering if it is worth all of this fighting to take her. I don't want to give her false hope. Will she get better if she goes to the doctor? I just want her to get better. I don't think a child ought to suffer like she does.
hannahleigh89 replied to Anon_177415's response:
If she has something medically wrong with her, of course she'll feel better when you take her to a doctor. It will take time, depending on what's wrong with her, but if she does have IBD and it's left untreated, it can turn into cancer or she can die from blood loss, malnutrition, dehydration...

If your parents know something is wrong with her and they don't take her, they can be charged with neglect. They won't get in trouble for not having her shot records, because lots of parents don't have these and it is not required by law to vaccinate your child.
Anon_177415 replied to hannahleigh89's response:
Thank you so much for your response. I hope this doesn't post computer is goin nuts today.

I will try to help my parents see that the DCFS won't take her just because she hasn't had shots. I might be able to make my dad see reason. He isn't as much of a conspiracy theorist, it's just that my mom runs their household.

What do they typically use to treat this condition? If it's something expensive, maybe I could figure out a way to help pay for it.
arbob5 replied to Anon_177415's response:
You certainly are a great sister! Hopefully, as you said, your Dad will be able to reason with your Mom. It is the right thing to do. As long as she realizes DCFS will not interfere.

Depending on what the diagnosis is, if it is colitis, Crohns, IBS or whatever they find, there are many meds out there to help. Some can be quite costly. If they can't afford the cost by themselves, you certainly could help them. Lets just cross one bridge at a time.....get your parents to see that your sister needs to see a doctor, and reassure them that DCFS will not interfere just because she hasn't has her innoculations, then see the doctor, get a diagnosis and go from there.

You're doing a wonderful job and your are so caring for your little sister. Kudos to you for that. Please let us know how all of this turns out, OK. We really do care. God bless.

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