Hi, I'm sorry your husband is so sick!
I, too, suffered with anal fistulae, so I understand the immensity of pain he must be feeling. He needs to see a different doctor. Its hard to get into a GI dr and if you call the office, he may have to wait for wks/months. I think the best option to be seen right away is to research GI docs and surgeons and see who you want. Surgeon is very very important. His GI is correct is saying that most general surgeons won't operate on someone with crohns. I ran into this myself with my first anal abcess/fistula. So once you've researched and chosen who you want, got to that hospital's emergency room and demand to either see the gi/surgeon while in the er, or an emergency consult set up within the wk. GI offices and surgeons do have times reserved for emergency cases. What area of the country do you live in?
As for medications, there are more options out there than remicade. That said, with the severity of your husband's disease and the fact that he has fistulizing crohns, which is more aggressive and harder totreat, the fact is that he will never achieve remission if he does not go on one of these serious meds. The possible side effects are serious, but rare. And he faces the certainty now of being sick and disabled the rest of his life or getting on the med and the very small possibility of one of the side effects. I hate to scare you. But fistulae do not heal on their own. He already has an established tract and I'm sure he DOES have stool moving through it. His body will continue to make more of these. I ened up with three at one time. He needs medical intervention.
Please keep us posted. I'll be praying for you!