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The Santa Controversy: Is it lying?
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Olivia_WebMD_Staff posted:
Ho, ho...hold on a minute!

I was recently involved in a conversation with some of my mom friends around the subject of perpetuating the Santa myth with our kids.

One of the moms had been all for encouraging her kids to believe in Santa until her son went to school and came home enlightened by his friends. When my friend admitted to him that Santa was, indeed, just the "spirit" of Christmas, her 9-year-old son ran from the room crying and saying, "Mommy, I can't believe you LIED to me!"

I did not have that experience with my own kids. When the time came, they were bummed with the truth but they didn't seem to think of it as having been lied to.

Our other friend is firmly against the Santa myth, and her kids were never told he existed in the first place.

So, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, etc. -- Is it right to encourage our kids to believe in these characters? What is your position?
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An_241965 responded:
do not see anything wrong with allowing children to believe in santa, now once they get to the age 9-10 then maybe i would sit down and talk to them about it since they are getting older and going to school with kids who dont believe or the kid talk on the play ground that they saw gifts from santa in mommies closet. I think playing santa as a mother is so fun. and i love seeing my ds on xmas morning
 
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nursingbug responded:
I guess by the definition, it is a lie, but that is separate from if it is wrong or not.
Young childhood is a magical time- they believe in so many things, and to me these myths add to that magic and a sense of fun. Kids have years to live and deal with reality. I remembering realizing one day that Santa was not possible, and asked my mom about it. She simply stated that I was right, but it was not a big upsetting thing to me.
My daughter is 3, and I tell her about Santa, but I do not overemphazise his role in Christmas. I am a Christian and I would rather her think of the religious aspects of the holiday first, and Santa second. I hear of parents that say Santa is real when their children ask if he is. When she asks me that I will tell her the truth- I think that telling the child he is real when they ask directly if he is not is more harmful than the whole myth itself.
 
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missashley1010 replied to nursingbug's response:
I agree with you 100%! I grew up with these myths and I had so much fun baking cookies for santa and so on and so forth. When kids are young its all about imagination and this is just one of those games you play until they grow out of it. I will for sure play the role of santa as my son grows. I dont think of it as lying but as playing and being creative.
 
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neeru_pdx responded:
I have told my kids that Santa is not real. We have talked about the myth and where it came from, traditions from around the world, etc. I also told them that lots of people like to imagine and play that Santa is real. My kids listen to me - but don't believe me! They think I just don't really understand since it's "magical"! They think they know better
I never want to lie to my kids. Even when they ask me something I don't think they are ready for some information that they are asking for, I tell them WHY I am not going to share the info. My kids trust me and I am not going to do anything to lose that trust. Hopefully they will behave the same way and I will continue to be able to trust them as they get older.
 
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An_241873 replied to neeru_pdx's response:
This is a great response. My dad told me that Santa wasn't real and the origins behind him and Christmas. Im glad too. I knew someone that was lied to about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. When he turned 16 he started getting into trouble and lying to his dad. When his dad confronted him about the lying he said "I have 3 things to say to you, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny." and walked away. He lost his trust in his dad. I'm so glad you would rather have the trust of your kids.
 
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rachael67 responded:
Life is filled with reality...Even our tv shows are largely no longer stories, but weighed heavily in the "reality" department. We are presented with more challenges than we care to address, and are given no choice but to face them.

Among some of the most serious of those challenges are the citizens of our small planet. Some people just are not nice! Plain and simple. For whatever reason they inflict pain, dominate, cause wars, kill, and cheat.

Our childhood dreams, as sweet as they may have been, will most likely never be realized.

Through the years our worlds will shrink as family and friends move far away, abandon us or die.

We will question long-held beliefs, despair when they are proven wrong, be forced to accept unwanted changes in our communities, civilizations, and lives.

We will face many forks in the road and wish beyond reason that we had the wisdom to know which path to choose.

And, despite all these difficult times, we are occasionally given the opportunity to introduce children to magic, to dance in our own hearts by welcoming in a few moments of wonder, of imagination, of "possibilities"....WOW!!!! What a delicious gift!

One of my very favorite sayings has always been: "Anything a man can dream is possible!"....Now, this does not say it is most likely or it is probable..It simply states that one should let their minds and hearts and imaginations go wild...Because magic and miracles really CAN come true.

As with all of the bumps and bruises we sustain in living, learning that some of these mythical characters of childhood might have been more fantasy than substance sadly can leave scars. But, later in life, when we encounter the "dragon of reality," simply remembering that, once, long ago, BELIEVING made our world a little happier and filled with awe, often our spirit can be refreshed and our strength increased, and we can better deal with what ever might come our way!

There are many lessons we learn in life: Believing might be the most empowering and the most beautiful of all.

Me? I still know that magic and mystery and miracles happen all the time...They are heard in the silence and are seen in the invisible....But only those who who truly believe are aware!

Blessings
Rachael
 
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neeru_pdx replied to rachael67's response:
My kids do have wonderful imaginations, love magic, dream about unicorns and camelot and magical worlds. My being honest with them has not inhibited them at all. And there is plenty of magic in the stars, moon, under the sea, rainbows etc. Scientific explanations only serve to make things more intriguing and exciting for them. The magic is within them.
Also - Santa, tooth fairy, easter bunny - I dislike the idea behind them. They all seem to be about "getting something". Presents, money, candy - these are not things I want my children to get too attached to.
I still believe in magic, and always will! I do not, nor remember ever have, believed in Santa.
 
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rachael67 replied to neeru_pdx's response:
I'm glad you and your children find magic...I have no problem where or when,,,But the thought of anyone focusing only on "reality" and forgetting the awe and mysery is so limiting, I find it sad.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio...!

Here's to blue-sky days and rainbow dreams for all of us...the children and the young at heart!
 
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gimpyd responded:
When I was little "Santa" came, and sometimes it wasn't so magical. As I got older I figured it out. I knew, but I was afraif if I told my parents I knew I would get no gift at all, so I pretended for years. Then I saw "Miracle of 34th Street" and "The Polar Express" are great to remind us that Christmas love IS real, even if mom and dad put a present under the tree. With my kids, presents came from the person giving it, exept 1, a cute stuffed toy unwrapped under the tree from Santa. That way, when it was time, they were past needing the snuggy toy anyway, and they knew it was all about love anyway! Also the more crafts and home-made things you make (bath salts, cookies, goodies) the fun is in making things. We found a new christmas ornament to represent something very special that happened that year, a birth, death, pet, whatever.I hope this helps.
 
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gimpyd replied to rachael67's response:
Some kids need a little extra and some don't. I did. The idea of Santa brought magic to a dreary world, and to find that Santa even found kids in hospitals was awesome. One little thing can make such a difference. By the time I was older, I'd made friends at school, was more independant, and it was not a big deal that I knew the truth.I didn't feel my parents lied, I felt they had worked extra hard for me to get a gift from "Santa". I still believe! Santa lives in us all, if we have love and sharing, joy and care for our fellow man, than Santa is still with us. What a sad day when Santa it gone. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannikka, Happy Holidays, whatever makes you happy. That's what's I think.
 
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rohvannyn replied to gimpyd's response:
I believed in Santa as a little kid, but wasn't too disappointed when I learned he wasn't real. I think at heart I understood that it was a game we were playing. My parents and I were very open with each other and we played games of pretend often. Ultimately, having Santa or not depends on the family, and the situation, and the child. I don't feel like it really a lie but more of a playful fabrication that disappears naturally in time.
 
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sharonpa replied to rachael67's response:
Rachael, I love your reply! Thank you!!!
 
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sharonpa responded:
When I found out that Santa was my parents (not that he wasn't real, just that he was different than what I had in mind) I was not upset at all! It made me feel so loved by my parents that they had put forth so much effort to make me feel extra special! Once my mother explained everything to me, I got to be Santa's helper. (As long as I kept the magical secret going for my little brother.) On Christmas Eve, I could stay up really late and help mom wrap all the presents and place them under the tree. I got to see all my little brother's gifts ahead of time so I could pay attention better to the excitement on his face when he opened them. I felt so happy to be my own version of Santa for him! I plan to do the same for my oldest, when he questions "Santa". Santa exists if you believe. He may exist in the form of your parents, or friends, or someone else close to you, but Santa does exist!
 
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An_242122 responded:
Hi guys..
Actually I believe that Santa Clause is a real person ..lived in the fourth century after Christ...he was one of beloved persons to the children..as He had given them a lot of presents near every new year..He also helped poor people especially in the new year eve ...His real name is saint Nicolaos...plz gooogle it and find the truth
....Happy New Year for all


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