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Where do I go from here?
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Gettingdesperate posted:
I've been dealing on and off with depression for about 10 years but lately its just got too much, nowadays its like theres no relief, everyday is a struggle and just getting through it is all i can think about. I dont know why it got so bad or why i cant pull myself back from it. i have tried speaking to people but i dont feel like anyone understands how it feels, on the surface theres nothing wrong with my life i dont know why its happened to me and even though i know i have a couple of people who care i just feel so alone and like a waste of space. I don't want to end it but sometimes that seems like the only way it will ever stop. The things i used to enjoy now feel like a chore and i cant stand some of the people who were my friends, i just want this feeling to go away!!!
Please help!
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An_252671 responded:
There's no dispute that depression is a B--CH! I have experienced it in the past (and, to a much milder degree, currently). I have stage IV cancer and I'd rather have that than major depression, so I completely understand how bad it can be. Have you seen a doctor about this? Today's anti-depressants really do help most people. A sympathetic doctor, nurse practitioner or counselor can be very helpful, too, in terms of emotional support. You are not alone in this awful struggle although one of depression's "secret weapons" is to make you feel that you are. Write me back if you'd like to "talk." I'm sure your friends care and want to help, but if they haven't experienced this terrible condition, sometimes they can't really grasp how overwhelming it can be. Believe me when I say that with the right chemical and emotional support you can be lifted from the "pit." My very best wishes to you.
 
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Gettingdesperate replied to An_252671's response:
Yeah I did the whole doctor thing and tried a few different meds, the thing is the side effects were too much so i stopped taking them, i know everyone says you have to give it time but the idea of feeling worse still is too much! I just want to be able to help myself you know? I'm scared that anti depressants won't help me again and i'm going to be stuck like this, there doesn't seem to be a way out! i want to believe i can get better!
 
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An_252671 replied to Gettingdesperate's response:
You can get better, please believe me. Millions of people (yes, millions, including me) have struggled with this, but you can get a livable life back. But I can't stress enough that it takes some time for the meds to kick in -- for some of us, several weeks. Hanging in there can be hell for awhile, but it takes a lot of patience, teeth-gritting and strictly adhering to your doctor's instructions about the meds. And if that one doesn't work after the proper amount of time (as determined by your doctor), you need to try another. Also, I would strongly recommend talking to a psychiatrist. They are the medical doctors that specialize in these conditions and I can tell you they can be very helpful in getting the proper meds and support. Like most people, I was embarrassed to feel I needed this help, but it was the absolute key to getting what I needed. I was met with sympathy, understanding and the proper meds. I understand you just "want to be able to help yourself", but it is an actual chemical imbalance and for virtually everyone it needs to be addressed with chemicals (medication) and psychological support. Be brutally honest with your doctor and tell him/her how desperate you feel. If he is not sympathetic and helpful, go to the emergency room and tell them you absolutely NEED HELP. You probably already know that the website we're on (webmd.com) has a lot of great articles, forums, suggestions that might steer you in the right direction, including "Depression (Major Depression)". I know you feel scared and stuck but, honest to God, you can get better.
 
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Gettingdesperate replied to An_252671's response:
Thank you for your support I am really considering going to the doctors, i know its the right thing to do for some reason it just seems like the hardest thing in the world and i find myself putting it off, the fear of trying yet another pill and it not working scares me so much but i know its what i need to do, just feel so pathetic that i can't make myself do it! I know people beat this illness but im just scared i cant because it is really beating me at the moment!
 
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Mugsie replied to Gettingdesperate's response:
You definitely have my support. Please re-read my previous reply right now. You are not pathetic! You are just struggling with one of the toughest things there is. I know it is the hardest thing in the world to take that first step of making the dr. appt. or going to the ER. But you will feel so proud when you actually do take that first step. You will have started taking your power back and kicking depression in the teeth! I want you to call one of the people who care about you right now and get their assistance in making this first step. Please.
 
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Gettingdesperate replied to Mugsie's response:
I've made the appointment (in truth my friend made it for me) but it's done and I'm going on Monday, gives me a bit of time to work up the nerve! I'm terrified of going back on the pills in case they don't work but you're right i've got to do it, i know i can't stay like this, my friends decided they're coming with me, i wish i didn't need a babysitter but i think i need her there to make sure i actually go! I don't know why but talking about it on here and somehow made it clearer that i need to go, thanks. Hope its not all for nothing!


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